


Love across the world

by springintveld



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F, Rated M for violence assault and abuse, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:06:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3509441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springintveld/pseuds/springintveld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura finally gets to make an article about New Zealand for Silas Travel Magazine. She expected Maori, Kiwi’s and the planets most beautiful nature. (Un)fortunately she also saves a broody yet beautiful woman who is a mystery. Laura wouldn't be laura of she's not going to try to find out what the deal is with this woman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. February 2nd

**Author's Note:**

> Tw: assault; violence.
> 
>  
> 
> I had this idea that I couldn't get out of my head. It resulted in this...
> 
> English isn't my strongest point so constructive criticism is encouraged :)
> 
> Enjoy
> 
> *Edit* The story is currently (june 2017) being edited. I will update once a week and will FINALLY add the epilogue once the chapters have been adited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited june 11th, 2017*

## February 2nd

Laura walks out of the plane and takes the time to stretch after the 11 hour flight. She’s not really a fan of long flights but this one is definitely worth it. For as long as Laura can remember she wanted to go to New Zealand. Two years after she started working at Silas Travel Magazine (STM) she finally got her chance. Here she is at Auckland Airport ready for a road trip through the country of the Mauri, Kiwi’s and the planets most beautiful nature.

_Stop dreaming and get your bag Hollis! You finally get to see the country that made you choose to go into travel journalism_. She takes a deep breath and looks at the signposts to see where she has to go. She gets her bags and flows through customs in a heartbeat. Mostly thanks to her thorough research on what to bring, and more importantly what not to bring into New Zealand. Once Laura is through customs she instantly spot the sign Laura Hollis, STM. The Driver takes her luggage and drives her to the B &B she is staying for the next two nights. Laura can’t sit still during the drive. _I cannot believe I’m finally in New Zealand I finally get to witness the most beautiful place on planet earth myself, and I get paid to do so. Who would have thought that._

After checking in at the B&B she goes up to her double bed room and unloads her bag. Although she won’t be staying long Laura likes to  unpack every time she stays in a hotel, it makes her feel at home. Since she arrived around lunch in Auckland she has quite some time left before dinner. Deciding she can do with some fresh air she goes to the Auckland domain . A shower can only do so much in removing the stench of a long flight out of one’s nose.

Laura is amazed by the oases that Auckland Domain is in the middle of the city. _It’s a shame that cars are allowed on the streets in and around the Domain_. It takes her a little while to tune out what little traffic and city noise penetrates the park. After a while it’s time for dinner. “I need to take photography lessons, or get the STM to pay for a photographer to travel with me. My pictures don't do justice to this place!”  Laura sighs while putting away her camera.

She grabs a cab to one of the most in restaurants at the moment according to her research. And it just happens to be in the same neighborhood as her B&B. Taking a table at the window Laura enjoys watching all the people walking by, though the servers are tempting as well. Apparently this restaurant has rounded up all the gorgius gay man in the area. “A girl would almost turn straight here.” Laura chuckles while eating dessert. When she is finished with a nice Italian meal she decides to loaf in the neighborhood, making sure not to miss any cute stores for her article. She is close to the B&B when she’s almost run over by a wanderer that runs away with a huge suitcase. He came out of an alley and immediately Laura’s curiosity gets the best of her. Careful she walks toward the alley pulling the straps on her backpack tighter in case she has to come in action fast.

When she looks around the corner the sight in front her slams the breath out of her lungs. She sees the most beautiful dark haired woman she has ever seen fight for breath while a guy twice her size is holding her up a several inches above the ground with one hand. In the meantime the other hand is working on the button of her leather pants.

 

\---

 

Carmilla walks towards the conveyor belt to wait for her luggage. Hopefully she doesn’t have to wait too long. Will becomes restless if it takes her too long to get to him. He doesn’t like waiting. She spots her suitcase and pushes some people aside to get to it. Even though her flight arrived a little early she isn’t taking her time until she’s met Will. There is a little hold up at customs because they want to see what is on her memory cards. Apparently they are afraid she’s smuggling porn or something. ‘Why the frilly hell do I need to bring porn when I can get every girl I want?’ She sighs and try not to look irritated, knowing that will only slow things down more.

_Thank god for the early arrival of the plain. I can’t imagine Will’s mood if he had to wait for me to get through customs_. She looks around and doesn't see Will. She checks her watch, the clock in the arrivals hall and asks three people. All this informs her that she is in fact 2 minutes early. Will can’t have left yet so she decides to wait for him. After waiting for half an hour Carmilla calls him, but he doesn’t answer his phone. Another half an hour later she starts to slowly panic. _How am I going to get to the B &B? Will isn’t here, the ATM isn’t working and I probably don’t have enough money on me for a taxi._ She asks around and learns that a bus leaves for downtown Auckland in ten minutes. After another call to Will that goes to voicemail she decides to take the bus. Carmilla sits down next to a friendly looking huge gentleman. Although she doesn’t like socializing much she asks him if he knows what stop her B&B is at.

“Ow I know that B&B, it’s right around the corner of my house. You can get off at the same stop as me, al give you directions when we get off”

“Thank you, sir”

The guy who introduces himself as Walker starts a conversation with her. She turns him out but does occasionally nod and hum in order to not look rude. She really is not a fan of people or small talk and to be honest she stopped trying years ago.

Walker nudges her, this is  their stop. She gets up and when she bends down to grab her suitcase Walker stops Carmilla. “That looks heavy and you are a small girl, let me help you with that.”

“It isn’t really heavy, I can carry it myself.”

“I will not let you carry the suitcase, I’m a strong man and don’t take no for an answer.”

“Okay.”

They get off the bus and Walker insists on walking her to the B&B. He walks towards an alley and had Carmilla not been preoccupied by Will’s reaction to her tardiness she would have refused to go into the alley with the darkness setting in. So Carmilla just follows Walker. Halfway in the alley Walker makes a sudden move and throws her on the ground. Trying to catch her fall with her hand she can hear a bone snap. Walker throws her suitcase to a wanderer and tells him to leave quickly if he wants to live another day. In the meantime Carmilla try to get up cursing herself for being preoccupied which got her into this situation. Walker grabs her by her arm, pulls her up and throws her at the wall. Before Carmilla can fully register what is happening Walker’s hand closes around her throat and he starts to choke her. While his other hand squeezes her breast he whispers in her ear. “It’s time for you to pay me for my kindness. Don’t fight me, that way it hurts less”

She tries to fight but Walker’s grip on her throat gets tighter when he moves to hold her up in the air. The hand that was on her breast a few moments ago is making its way down to the button of her leather pants. Carmilla tries to fight him of, but she can’t breath and is losing her strength. She looks to the end of the alley for help and right before she passes out she sees a beautiful angel.


	2. February 2nd part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited june 2017*

“Sir let her go!”

“Shut up and run shorty, before I change my mind and come after you.”

Laura takes a deep breath and runs toward the guy. _Thanks dad for forcing me to take those Krav Maga lessons_  she thinks right before she runs up to the man who let’s go of the girl and swings his arm at Laura. She ducks under his arm and knees him in the groin twice before he falls to the ground. He gets up fast but Laura is prepared for this and kicks him at the back of his knee while simultaneously ducking for the arm that comes swinging her way again. When he is on the ground the second time Laura tells him to get lost right before kicking him in the groin one last time.

After the guy runs away Laura turns to look at the woman on the ground. She has a little trouble breathing and is rubbing her throat.

“Hi, my name is Laura, can I get you to a doctor or the police station?” Carefully Laura walk towards the woman but she stop as soon as the dark-haired woman starts to scramble away.

“I’m not going to hurt you miss, I’m just here to help you if you need me to”

“Leave me alone!” The woman on the ground says through gritted teeth. “I’m fine”

“You look hurt and I’m not going leave you here by yourself” Laura takes of her backpack and makes herself comfortable on the ground.

“I’m just going sit here and when you’re ready to leave I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

 

\---

 

Carmilla closes her eyes. Why can’t this angel leave her alone, It’s not like she deserves help or kindness. This is her own fault, she was to trusting and forgot to pay attention to her surroundings.

The girl is right about Carmilla being hurt though. She’s probably got a broken wrist and some serious bruises on her back. While shifting she feels something push into her lower back. That must be the camerabag. _At least I still have my camera_. She moves to get into a more comfortable position and can’t stop a groan. When Carmilla opens her eyes she sees this Laura-girl look at her with concern. “Please let me take you to a doctor, your wrist looks like it is badly injured”

She decides to ignore the tiny girl and closes her eyes again. After a couple of minutes Carmilla can’t stop herself and looks at Laura again. Laura is still looking at her. This girl is a mystery. First she saves a complete stranger from a man twice her size and then she stays to make sure nothing else happens to Carmilla. Something inside her wants to get to know this girl but there is a little voice in the back of her head telling her not to go there. Last time she tried to get to know a girl it ended badly.

After a couple minutes she realises she’s still staring at Laura. She looks away from those beautiful eyes and conclude it is time to end this. Pushing through the pain Carmilla gets on her feet. Fighting the urge to look at Laura one last time she walks out of the alley. When she spots a store she walks in and asks for directions to a doctor. That wrist really needs to be checked out.

 

\---

 

Laura is confused and impressed by the broody woman. By the looks of it her wrist is broken and she took a bad fall so she probably has several bruises besides the one on her neck. Despite the pain she must be in, she gets up and walks away. Laura decides to follow her at a distance. She just wants to make sure she’s alright, right?

When the woman walks in a store Laura waits outside. When she comes out she sees her. “I told you I don’t need your help” “Well I don’t care if you think you don’t need my help, I’m going make sure you get home safe. Because if I were ever to be in your position I would like for somebody to make sure I was fine.” “You realize that if you want me to get home safe you would have to fly with me to Austria?” “I don’t mean home, home. I mean your home here like your hotel.” “Sure cupcake, whatever makes you sleep at night. As I said before, I don’t want your help so get lost.” “I’m not going to get lost. You can ignore me all you want I don’t care but I’m staying close until you get to your hotel safe. You don’t have to talk to me, hell you can even ignore me, but you won’t be able to push me away. As you might have seen back in the alley, I’m stronger than I look”

After Laura’s little speech she falls back a few steps and walks behind the woman for what feels like hours. She doesn’t try to speak to her again. Obviously the girl doesn’t want to talk about what happened and that’s okay. She’ll talk when she is ready to talk until then Laura will be here for moral support. After about half an hour she sees a hospital sign. _So she does have some common sense_. She follows her into the hospital, when the woman is brought to a room Laura is stopped by a nurse. “Only family is allowed in miss.” “Unfortunately this annoying ball of sunshine is my niece” Laura tries not to look surprised. Did her Broodiness just make sure she doesn’t have to leave?

“Are you coming in or what?”  Laura rolls her eyes but follows the women into the room none the less.

 “Before you start. I still don’t want to talk and I still want you to get lost, but you did follow me all the way here so I thought you might need a little bit of rest before you get out of my life.” “Okay” Laura decides this isn’t the moment to press further so she takes a seat and takes her notebook and tablet. She might as well start with the article while sitting here.

 

\---

 

Carmilla can’t believe she just asked Laura to stay. Well she didn’t exactly ask, she just didn’t take the opportunity to get rid of her. This is confusing.

While waiting for the doctor she can’t stop looking at Laura. She took a notebook and a tablet and seems to be writing something. “What are you doing?” “I’m working. I write for a travel magazine and I’m here to make an article about New Zealand.” “Sounds like a nice job.” “Well it’s more than nice, it’s the best job in the world” The way Laura smiles when she says that makes Carmilla’s legs go weak and forget about the pain in her wrist. That smile might be all the medicine she needs. When Laura starts talking again Carmilla snaps out of it. “What is your job?” “I actually have the best job in the world, no offence.” “And what could possibly a greater job than travel journalist?” “I’m a photographer. I’m specialized in nature pictures. So while you try to describe all these beautiful things you see when you travel the world I give the people the pictures of those place.” “Wow a photographer, obviously my job is the greatest, but yours is a  close second!” “Whatever you say creampuff.” They stay silent for a while. Laura continuous her writing and Carmilla retrieves her phone to see if she’s heard anything from Will. Carmilla doesn’t understand and although they don’t get along she’s getting worried about him. It’s not like him to be late or forget an appointment. Before Carmilla can get to worried the doctor walks in to examine her. He tells her that she probably broke her wrist but that the rest is just bruises. He wants to know what happened and Carmilla tells him she fell. He clearly doesn’t believe her and Laura’s shocked face isn’t helping. It makes Carmilla doubt her decision for a brief moment but she knows this is for the best, she can’t press charges and she can’t have the doctor notify the police. That will definitely end badly for Carmilla and possibly Laura.

 

\---

 

Why doesn’t this mysterious beauty want to press charges and why does she lie about how she got hurt. Laura is puzzled and can’t help getting curious. As soon as the doctor walks out she starts questioning the girl. “Why did you lie?” “None of your business.” “You clearly don’t want the police to get involved. I think you have your reasons for that decision, what are they?” “If I were to tell you that I would lose my air of mystery wouldn’t I?” “Arghh! You’re impossible, but just so you know I did study journalism so I will find out every one of your secrets.” “Only if I keep you around Cutie” A nurse walks in to takes the patient for x-rays. Laura stays in the room until she comes back about an hour later with her wrist in a cast.

“Still here buttercup?”

“Yeah. Can’t have the doctors thinking you lied about me being your niece can we?”

“Sure sundance. Don’t worry though I can leave so you only have to keep up the cute niece act for a couple more minutes.” ”Why won’t you press charges? That guy abused you and he should be held responsible for his actions.”

“Aarrggh this generation doesn’t understand obligation. It’s like an undersea anker impossible to escape.” ”Ahh worried you’re not living up to expectations?” The woman looks at Laura a little taken back. “Only child of a massive overprotective dad here.”

They stay silent while the girl puts on her boots and jacket. When they walk to the exit Laura feels the girl look at her every now and then. When they walk out of the hospital Laura feels uncomfortable. Part of her knows she has to let her go because she got to a doctor and is safe now, but another part of Laura wants to know more about this mystery of a woman she is.

“So cutie, how well do you know your way around Auckland?” “Ehhh, I have a map” “Okay, so can you maybe help me find the B&B I’m heading to?” “Sure” You take the note she is holding out for you and read it. “You’re staying in the same B&B as I. Follow me.”

 

\---

 

Carmilla can’t believe she actually asked for the angels help. But here she is following her and actually listen to her babbling about the sights they walk by and her plans for the next month. She is way too nice and cheerful for Carmilla to deserve to have her in your life, yet she can’t let her go.

“Here we are. Check-in is behind the second door to your left.” “I don’t need to check-in I’m staying with my brother. He arrived a couple of days ago.” ”Why didn’t he pick you up at the airport?” “Thanks for your help and enjoy the rest of your time here cutie” “So you’re not going to answer?” “Nope.” “Alright goodbye.”

While she is walking up the stairs Carmilla sees Laura following her. “You do know I’m safe and you can stop following me right?” “My room is this way.” It turns out that Laura’s room is next to Will’s. Somehow that soothes Carmilla’s nerves. She knocks on Will's door and waits for him to let her in. Carmilla takes a look over her shoulder to hopefully sneak a last glance at Laura. To her surprise Laura is still in the hallway looking at her, the door to her room not open yet.

“Hi Kitty” “Hello William” He looks at Carmilla’s wrist and his eyes darken with anger. “What happened to your wrist and where is your luggage?” “I got robbed in an alley nearby” Carmilla feels very uncomfortable under his gaze. “What did you do and what else happened?” “I didn’t do anything.” “I’ve known you my whole life, if you got into trouble you’ve done something to deserve it, and you usually only tell half the story. So I ask again. What else happened and what did you do?” “I took the bus since you weren’t at the airport to pick me up and there was this guy. I asked him for directions and he offered to walk me to the B&B and carry my luggage. Is wasn’t paying much attention to where we were going and we ended up in alley. He there gave my luggage to a wanderer and he… ehh …. he…” She can’t bring herself to say what he did. While she’s stuttering she sees movement in the corner of her eye. Carmilla turns her head and Laura is right beside her. See grabs Carmilla’s hand and starts to talk to Will. “Your sister got assaulted and broke her wrist when trying to fight the guy off.”

Carmilla immediately recognizes the anger that appears in Will’s eyes and can’t help but squeeze Laura’s hand. “How many times has mother told you to behave and dress less provocative? You asked for this to happen you little whore.” Carmilla feels like she actually shrinks when Will is yelling at her. He is right, this was all her own fold. She asked for it. Suddenly Carmilla’s hand feels cold and she realises that Laura let go of it and took a step toward Will. “Excuse me? Did you just blame your sister? There is only one person to blame and that is the guy who doesn’t know that no means no. This what you are doing is victim blaming and it is the reason why so many women are afraid to talk about assault when it happens to them. It is the reason why women feel shame and the name calling? uncalled for! You should get the same punishment as an assaulter gets. Come Kitty I’m not leaving you with this ass.” Laura grabs Carmilla’s arm and she follows her into her room. After she closes the door Carmilla lets go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding.


	3. February 3rd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura is very helpfull

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It look long to get this update done. Life happened so... Anyway. I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter, but it took forever so it'll have to do.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> *Edited june 2017*

## February 3rd

She wakes up bright and early as always. She stretches her body and feels something beside her. Right… she’s got a girl in her bed. Her mind goes back to yesterday....

 

_“I’m sorry I dragged you away from your brother. It was not my decision to make. I’m very sorry Kitty.” “Why do you keep calling me Kitty, buttercup?” “Because that’s your name?” “My name is Carmilla, Kitty is just a nickname my brother uses.” “Alright Carmilla than, but I’m still sorry.” “It’s ok cutie. I wouldn’t have the guts to do what you did. If I would ever thank people, I would do so now.” They stood in an awkward silence for a couple of minutes before she decided to speak up. “So my bed is big enough for two. You can stay over if you want.” “I would like that very much. Tomorrow I will get things sorted and let you get back to your job.”_

 

After their little conversation Carmilla went to shower. When she came back out she was back to her broody self. But she did let her guard down for a few moments yesterday and Laura is just a little bit closer to discovering the mystery called Carmilla. It’s still early so she decides to let her sleep while Laura goes down for breakfast.

 

* * *

 

 

Carmilla wakes up and it takes her a few moments to remember where she is and what happened yesterday. She gets up and realizes she’s alone. _Of course she left, everybody always leaves._ Carmilla gets dressed and walks out of the door, where shes collides with Laura. “Why are you leaving?” “I told you I would let you get back to your job today.” “You don’t have to leave.” “Listen cupcake, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I need to be on my own and take care of myself.” “I get that. So maybe I can make it worth your while to keep hanging out with me?” _Wow she's either very smooth or has no idea how that just sounded._ However, Carmilla likes it and decides to have a little fun. "Really cupcake? And what exactly did you have in mind?” She uses her most sexy voice and is very pleased when she sees Laura cheeks pink up.

“I...uhmm… Just... “ “Relax cupcake, I’m teasing. What is you proposition?” “Well you’re a photographer and I need some pictures to go with my article. Usually I make the pictures myself but I’m not a very talented photographer. So I thought you could make the pictures today and I could pay you for your services. That way I have decent pictures and you have some money until you get all your stuff replaced.” “I think I’d like that very much” “Okay, Let’s get going than.”

Carmilla doesn’t like city’s. They’re crowded, noisy and stinky. Also it’s hard to takes good pictures with everything moving. No matter how many pictures she takes and how many different settings she tries someone or something is always blurred.  She usually doesn’t have the patience to takes those pictures, but apparently when it comes to Laura Carmille does not know the word no. So Carmilla follows Laura through the harbour, in musea, up the sky tower and she takes pictures. Mostly she lets Laura tell her what pictures to take, although whenever she’s not looking Carmilla snaps some pictures of Laura. She can’t help herself, she is beautiful and Carmilla has have a soft spot for beautiful women. 

She talks a lot. Usually that would annoy Carmilla but somehow it relaxes her when Laura does the talking. She doesn’t remember much but Laura’s talking keeps her from getting locked inside her brain and it helps keeping her mind of off the events yesterday. Carmilla is not sure why but somehow Laura does all these things that usually annoy her but when Laura does them it doesn’t bother her one bit.

They have a late lunch in the skytower and Laura insists she pay. Carmilla argues but she doesn’t budge. It makes Carmilla feel uncomfortable that she seems to care. Why would she care? Carmilla is a nobody and caring about her is a waste of time. She may not know it now, but she is bright and will learn not to care soon enough. Carmilla  should not get attached, that way it'll hurt less.  
 

After lunch Laura tells her she has seen enough of Auckland for her article and Carmilla needs to get her things sorted. Yeah she figured out that she shouldn’t care. 

“Thanks for lunch buttercup. Good luck with your article, if you give me your email address I’ll send you the pictures as soon as I get home by the end of the month, or is that too late?” “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” “Because it is.” “No it’s not.”  “Why wouldn’t it be?” “Because… ehhh… just… because” “Yeah, whatever. Have a nice holiday. Bye Laura!” 

She walks away but a hand on her arm stops her and she freezes. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Laura looks guilty at her. “It’s ok creampuff” “Look I really enjoyed your company today. Somehow despite your broody demeanor you make me feel comfortable. Also I really don’t like eating alone. So maybe we can have dinner together, that way we both don’t have to eat alone.” “I guess we could do that. But I have to take care of some stuff before dinner. We can meet somewhere in a couple of hours?” “Actually, would you mind if I come along? I don’t have any plans and I don’t feel like being alone right now.” “Sure cutie.” She doesn’t get this girl. She has been travelling the world alone forever. No way she doesn’t like being alone or eating alone. Carmilla can’t shake the feeling she wants the two of them to have dinner together to make sure Carmilla’s okay. Carmilla should distance yourself for her sanity and her safety. Yet there is something about her and Carmilla really can’t put your finger on it. All she knows is that she wants to spend more time with her angel.

The two of them head for the embassy where Carmilla gets a temporary passport. They also help her block her bank cards. She can’t get new cards until she’s back home so money is going to be a big problem the rest of her stay stay. 

“Carm, I have an idea.” “Aren’t you full of ideas cupcake.” Carmilla doesn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it does, but she just learned she doesn’t have access to her money and her flight home isn’t until the end of the month. Basically she will have to live on the streets for almost a month. Despite her history she at least always had a roof over her head. This month sucks.

“I get that you want to lash out with everything that happened since you arrived here, but it really isn’t fair. Anyway. I know you can’t access your money, and obviously I’m paying you for the pictures you’ve taken but that’s only a small amount. So I thought of a solution. You call your bank to transfer money to my account and then I will withdraw it for you. You are able to transfer money by phone right?” “Ehh… Yeah that’s possible. Would you do that for me?” “Sure, us girls have to stick together right.”

 

* * *

 

 

Laura has spent nearly 24 hours with Carmilla and she still is mostly a mystery, but Laura has learned a few things about her. She is very independent and doesn’t ask for help. Maybe that’s because she’s never had someone help her. Every time Laura did something nice or helped Carmilla she had a surprised look in her eyes, even if it was only for a second. Why isn’t she used to people being friendly? 

“You’ve got your thinking face on cutie. I don’t think you heard anything I said in the last five minutes”

Carmilla’s voice wakes her up. 

“Sorry I got lost in my head. You were saying?” “I like the music here.” “You like classical music?” “I don’t like all classical music, but I am a fan of the Waltz.” “Why is that?” “When I was younger I had dancing lessons, the waltz brings back some very good memories.” Carmilla smirks at her though her eyes have a darkness in them. Maybe now is not the time to push further.

“Can you teach me to waltz?” “Sure.”

She had a couple of dancing lessons back in highschool, and although she loved it, she never were able to keep the rhythm. Dancing with Carmilla proofs that this is not solely her mistake. Apparently with a strong lead she is able to keep the rhythm. They dance for several songs and yeah Laura might be developing a maybe not so small crunch on this mystery woman. Who is she kidding this is the Worst. Crush. Ever.


	4. February 4th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura helps Carmilla once again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: assault mention
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter and pretty much just a filler. 
> 
> Enjoy  
> *edited july 2017*  
> \---

Carmilla wakes up early because someone is pulling her arm. She growls.

"Wake up sleepy head. We have to get breakfast and check-out"

She growls again but slowly starts to get up. As much as she appreciated Laura’s rambling yesterday to keep her mind off of certain events, she really can’t handle anybody talking to her before she had her first cup of coffee. Unfortunately it looks like Laura doesn’t need time to wake up.

“Please stop talking Cupcake.” Carmilla manages to get the words out of her mouth but it sounds harsher than she intended.

“Okaaaaay, I’m gonna leave you to your brooding. Just make sure to be at the check-out desk at 9.30.” _Well done Karnstein, you manage to drive the one person who seems to genuinely care about you away._

Carmilla takes a shower, packs the few belongings she still has and heads out for breakfast a.k.a. a large cup of black coffee. She makes sure to be at the check-out desk in time. Laura is already waiting.

“It was nice meeting you Carmilla, although I wish the circumstances would have been better.” This is the first time after the hospital that Laura mentions the assault that lead to the wo of them meeting. Carmilla feels her chest tighten when she remember that guys hand on her. She feels a lump in her throat and she has to tell herself to keep breathing. Carmilla takes a few deep breaths while Laura looks at her with concern.

“Nice meeting you too Cutie.” Carmilla extends her hand t she Laura’s, but she hugs her instead. It immediately calms her down.

“I’m sorry I brought it up, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” “It’s ok Laura, I’m ok.”

Reluctantly Carmilla pulls away when the receptionist announces the arrival of the bus to get you to the car rental.

 

\---

 

Laura knows she screwed up big time and although Carmilla said it was ok she knows she hit a nerve. She shouldn’t have brought it up. _Couldn’t keep your big mouth shut could you Hollis_

The silence in the van is uncomfortable to say the least and for the first time in a very long time Laure doesn’t know what to say. When they get to the car rental she lets Carmilla go first. She probably can't wait to get away from her. While waiting in line she can’t stop looking at Carmilla. Laura wants to drink in her appearance as best as  sheu can because once Carmilla walks out of here Laura will probably never see her again.

“What the frilly hell, you can’t be serious!” Carmilla’s raised voice pulls Laura out of her thoughts. She looks upset and before Laura can stop yourself she’s walked over to her.

“Hey Carm, what’s going on?” “I can’t get my rental car because my credit card got stolen, and they refuse to take cash as a guarantee.” Laura turns to the receptionist.

“Is there another way for her to get the car?” “The rent is prepaid, the credit card is used as a guarantee in case the car gets damaged and miss Karnstein is responsible for the damage.” “And why can’t you take the cash as a guarantee?” “Because if the damage is bigger than the amount she left as a guarantee we need to we need to be able to get back the full amount.” “She can leave you her information and a copy of her passport, that way you can get a hold of her if needed.” “I agree your idea could work miss, unfortunately company policy dictates the use of a credit card as a guarantee.” “Seriously?” Laura can’t keep her anger and disbelief out of her voice.

“I’m Sorry miss, but without a credit card I can’t give miss Karnstein the car.” “Unbelievable… Wait a minute, could you use my credit card as a guarantee?” “Well we could use it, but I wouldn’t recommend it, because if your card is being used you’re responsible for damages.” Laura turns to Carmilla.

“You can use my card if you want.” “I can’t accept that cupcake.” She’s about to reply when the receptionist interrupts.

“I should probably inform you that you cannot put a guarantee for two cars on one card. Again it is company policy, I’m really sorry.” Laura feels her blood pressure and heart rate rise. There is probably steam coming out of her ears and she’s about to give the guy a piece of her mind when she feels a hand being placed on her arm. Somehow this immediately calms Laura down. She looks to her left and sees it is Carmilla that has this effect on her. Of course her crush is the one person ably to calm her down. She sighs.

“I’m sorry Carmilla, I really wish I could help you, but I need a car for my work.” “No need to apologize cutie.” Carmilla turns to walk away and without thinking Laura blurts out. “If you want you we can travel together. I have to stick to my route because of the article, so you don’t have a choice in which parts of New Zealand you’re going to see. I really could use another driver that makes the trip less tiring for me so you would actually be doing me a favor. Maybe you’re tired of me and that’s okay too. No need to feel obligated.” “You’re rambling buttercup.” “Right, sorry. So you want to join me?” “I’ll join you. I don’t have anything better to do anyway” She sounds like she couldn’t care less. Laura tries not to take it personally, but it still stings.

“Alright I’ll get my car and then we can take off.”

 

\---

 

Laura cares about her but she knows that doesn’t last. It never does. So instead of letting her get closer her, she pushes her away. She knows it isn’t fair to Laura but she can’t let herself get hurt again when the inevitable happens. Laura get’s her car and Carmilla follows her. When they first drive off there is an uncomfortable silence in the car. She already figured out Laura can’t handle silences so she’s not surprised when she is the first to break the silence. Laura tells her their first stop is coromandel. She shrugs and pretends not to be listening to her rambling. But in reality Carmilla drinks in every word Laura says. Yeah the whole pushing away thing isn’t working. Maybe she should try a different approach.

"I’m not good with the whole feelings stuff and I’m not used to people helping me, but I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Even if I suck at showing it.” “We all need a little help sometimes.” There is another long silence but this one is comfortable.


	5. February 5th and 6th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad dreams, sightseeing and Laura needs to learn not to probe.
> 
> *edited july 2017*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: Assault mention  
> 

## February 5th and 6th

They arrived pretty late at their bed & breakfast last night. It really wasn't that long a drive from Auckland to Coromandel, but they left later than planned because Carmilla apparently isn’t a morning person and then there was the hold-up at the car rental. Also Carmilla loves to take pictures of nature so after the two of them got rid of the uncomfortable air between them she made her stop the car every 5 seconds because she wanted to take a picture. Not that Laurs minded, it was nice to see her all enthusiastic about small flowers and trees and pebbles and all this other stuff that looks beautiful but can’t keep Laura occupied for more than five seconds. She had to call ahead to inform them you would be a late check-in. The late arrival at Coromandel screwed up Laura’s schedule, but honestly Carmilla’s smiles more than made up for the inconvenience. But as beautiful as Carmilla’s smile is Laura does have a schedule and said schedule demands her being in Rotorua this evening and she also has to cover Coromandel, which means it is going to be a busy day. Carm is getting five more minutes to wake up, otherwise Laura is going without her. As if she heard Laura thinking Carmilla growls and stirs in her sleep. It takes her a couple of minutes to wake up and it takes all Laura’s strength not to talk to her. Laura’s learned that talking to Carmilla before she had her first cup of coffee is something she shouldn’t do if she values her life. So she sit on her half of the bed in silence and waits for Carmilla to get ready.(By the time they arrived yesterday there was only a room with a double bed left, not that she minds sharing a bed with Carmilla.) Once she is showered and dressed they get breakfast again in silence. Surprisingly it is Carmilla who breaks the silence by the end of breakfast.

“I’m going shopping today. You can join me if you want.” “I can’t actually, my article doesn’t write itself you know.” “Whatever you want cupcake.”

 

\---

 

Carmilla is in need of clothing hence the shopping trip, although she would rather spend her day with Laura. She knowa all the pictures she wanted to take yesterday caused a huge delay in Laura’s schedule and she has to make up for that today (but nature here is just so damn beautiful Carmilla has to capture it with her camera). It makes her feel guilty. After the burden she already been to her she also caused her delay. Carmilla needs to find a way to make things up to her.

She manages to find enough clothes to last her a couple of weeks when ahw realises she only has the stores plastic bags to keep them in. She had hoped to be able to join Laura for lunch but she really needs some sort of a suitcase because carrying a ton of plastic bags for the remainder of the month isn’t going to happen.

It’s late in the afternoon by the time Carmilla meets up with Laura at the car. The moment they drive off Laura starts to ramble about the kayak tour she went on. She kayaked along the beach and went to a place called Cathedral Cove. One can only get there on foot or over the water, according to Laura’s research kayaking is supposed to be the best way to explore Cathedral Cove. Carmilla doesn’t remember everything Laura tells her about it because she is having a hard time keeping track of the route (since Laura decided Carmilla should contribute by navigating them to Rotorua) with this amazing ball of sunshine next to you. From the pieces she manages to actually get into her brain it sounds like she missed out on a great photography opportunity. Laura describes it as a white beach surrounded by high rocks that have caves in them and in the sea across the shore there are rocks shattered everywhere. Carmilla thinks they’re named after limbs but Laura’s smile brightened when she talked about those rock so she’s not sure if she remembers it correctly. When they made a short stop to get fuel in the car she showed Carmilla the pictures she took and for the first time since it happened Carmilla feels herself actually hating Walter for assaulting her. If he could have kept his hands off of her then her suitcase wouldn’t be stolen and she could have gone to Cathedral Cove instead of shopping.

“Carmilla, are you okay?” Laura’s snaps her out of it and she realises she has been clenching her fists to the point her knuckles have gone white.

“Nothing to worry your pretty little face over cutie.” She can see in her eyes that she doesn’t believe her but she doesn’t press it.

“So you ready to go Carm, we have about an hour drive left until we are at Rotorua.”

They get in the car and Carmilla tunes out Laura’s words while letting her presence scare away the thoughts of Walker. 

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” “What?” “You zoned out Carmilla, I was telling you all the secrets of being a travel reporter and you haven’t heard any of it.” “Yeah, sorry about that. Please continue”

She pays better attention until they arrive at their hotel in Rotorua. She now know Laura has a very overprotective dad that sends her day-of-the-week-bear-spray, even though he knows she can’t bring it along on her trips. She has an ex named Danny, who she dumped because she was way too protective. And she talks your ears off about her friends Perry, Lafontaine and Kirsch who she misses when she travels. Carmilla’s sure she told you tons about them, but honestly she doesn’t care about her friends. And she really shouldn’t care about her either.

 

\---

 

Laura wakes up in the middle of the night, at first she’s not sure what made her wake up but when she hears a whimpering sound come from the other bed she realises Carmilla must be dreaming. It sounds like a bad dream so she decides to try and wake her up. While crossing the few feet between their beds she stumbles a couple of times on pieces of Carmilla’s clothing. She’s a messy roommate and it’s getting to Laura, but she is having a hard time so she is trying very hard not to explode to her about it.

When she reaches her bed she nudges her shoulder gently.

“Wake up Carmilla, it’s just a dream.” She stirs but doesn’t wake up. Laura nudges her again, a little harder this time. That does the trick.

“What…” She can’t help herself and chuckles at the sight of a half asleep Carmilla.

“You were having a nightmare so I woke you up.” “Thanks cupcake.” “You wanna talk about it?” “Nope.” She turns and goes back to sleep. Rude!

Why won’t she talk to Laura? It should be easy right? Talking to someone that saw the whole thing happen. That way one doesn’t have to talk about the details. Laura sighs. _Who am I to say it's easier to talk to someone who saw the whole thing happen. I've never been in her position._

Laura goes back to sleep deciding to give Carmilla more time and in the meantime she’s going to make sure she knows she can talk to her. There really isn't much more she can do at the moment.

The next morning she manages to get Carmilla out of bed early and the two of them go for a round along the hotsprings and geysers that surround Rotorua.

She found a trail that will take them to all the important sights within a couple of hours. That way they still have enough time to get to her skydive in the afternoon.

The trail starts with some geysers. The robust grey rocks glisten in the morning sun with the water that lands on it every few minutes when the geyser blows meters high up in the air.

The rocks are mostly covered with white and yellow stuff that Laura cannot name. It probably comes up from within the earth with the water. She promises herself to ask Laf about it when she gets home.

She slowly start walking again but after a few meters she notices that Carmilla is staying behind to photograph the geyser some more. She wonders if she’ll manage to capture the beauty of the geyser. There isn’t a fiber in her body that doesn’t have faith in her capabilities but it’s so breathtaking beautiful that she doubts it is possible to capture all of that beauty on a picture. With pain in her heart she informs Carmilla that they have to move on. They can’t afford any delay today.

For most of the remainder of the trail she doesn’t have to ask Carmilla to move along. She does however get distracted at Wai-O-Tapu. It takes a little more convincing to get her to come along. She’s standing at Champagne Pool when her eyes get the same look she had at the geysers in the beginning and she starts taking pictures frantically. The Pool has a rim of grey rocks. The first few feet the water is low and she can see the rocks just below the surface. They are a beautiful copper red and stretch a few feet into the pool. After they end the water seems to go into infinite deeps. The water is warmed by the heath in the depth of the earth, this makes waves of mist appear to be floating on top of the water.

She gives Carmilla half an hour, that’s all the time they can spare since she has an appointment for a sky dive after lunch.

On the drive to the sky dive center she decides it is to be a good time to bring up last night.

“Carmilla?” “Yes cupcake?” “Can I ask you something?” “Isn’t that what you just did?” “I guess, but I want to ask you something more.” “You can ask, but I’m not promising any answers.” “Fair enough. Do you remember me waking you up last night?” “Nope.” She doesn’t look at Laura when she gives her this answer. It seems she might be lying so Laura decides to push.

“Are you sure? You were having a bad dream so I woke you up. When I asked what you dreamed you didn’t want to talk about it and you shut me out.” “Did you consider the possibility I didn’t and still don’t want to talk about it?” Laura obviously considered that possibility, she’s not a complete idiot.

“Of course I did, but I believe it’s not very healthy that you’re not talking about what happened in Auckland.” “Well it’s my health no yours so stop the probing!” By the time she finishes she is yelling at Laura. For the rest of the day she refuses to acknowledge her existence and Laura can’t really blame her, she realizes she has crossed some boundaries in that little conversation. She really needs to learn to contain her impatience.

The skydive they both take seems to sooth Carmilla a little which Laura is grateful for. She guesses a 70 seconds freefall at one of the most beautiful places on the planet makes one forget the darker stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my description of the sights does them justice. My limited English vocabulary makes it a challenge, but thorough research and google translate hopefully gets a girl there ;-)


	6. February 7th and 8th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla panics and is a pain in Laura's but. Also she opens up, even if it's just a little bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally you should not be allowed to rent dive equipment or go for a dive if you’re not certified. This however is a fictional story so I decided to ignore that and have them dive anyway.
> 
> There is panic attacks mentioned so be careful if that's a trigger.  
> ___
> 
> *edited july 2017*

## February 7th and 8th

 

Laura made her get up early again today. She’s not sure what is more annoying. Laura telling her what to do or the fact that she listens. Either way she’s having breakfast with the cupcake at an ungodly hour because they are on a schedule. As much as she wants to be grateful for all of Laura’s kindness, it’s really hard to be so this early in the morning.

The drive to their next destination is silent, not the awkward kind. When they’re nearly there Laura informs her that they will take a helicopter to White Island.

Carmilla opens her mouth to tell her she can’t come along, but then she sees Laura smile, that wonderful smile that makes her forget everything.

“If we’re going to be in a helicopter I want to sit at the window.” “Really and why is that?” “You want good pictures don’t you?” “That’s true, you can sit at the window.”

It isn’t a long flight to White Island but it takes all the strength Carmilla’s got to stop herself from freaking out.

“I have a surprise for you. You’ve been grumpy and that nightmare the other night didn’t help either so I decided you need to have some fun. We’re going for a dive here.” Laura looks at her with one of the brightest smiles she has seen so far.

“I’m not going to dive. And even if I wanted to, I can’t!” Carmilla waves her borken arm. “I looked into it and found a way to wrap your arm so you can make the dive without worrying about the cast.” Laura explains. When Carmilla doesn’t budge Laura pouts. “Ahhh, please! This is supposed to be a great diving spot. Please come, for me?” Let’s be honest there is no way Carmilla could resist that pout. So she agrees to go hoping, against her better judgement, she will be able to keep things together.

 

\---

 

Laura’s sure this is going to make Carmilla less broody. Yes, she didn’t looked too thrilled, but that’s just fear for the unknown right?

They’re both getting equipment and instructions and she seems to be shaking a bit. Laura doesn’t think she’s seen her this nervous. Maybe this whole scuba diving wasn’t as good as an idea as you though.

“Carm?” “Y-Yeah?” “Are you ok?” “I’m f-fine cupcake, just a little nervous this being my f-first dive and everything.” “Sure?” “Y-yes.”

Their guide waves them over and she shoves away the nagging feeling her conversation with Carmilla left her with.

After the last safety instructions the both of them follow the guide into the water.

Laura starts to descent but after a couple of feet something seems wrong with Carmilla. She breaths really fast and when the guide tries to get close she starts to kick and hit her arms and legs to anything that comes close. It looks like a panic attack. It takes the guide a couple of minutes but he manages to get a hold of her tank. As soon as he has it in a secure hold he starts a slow ascent, gesturing at Laura to also go up to the surface.

When they’re all back at the surface Carmilla is still in full panic mode. The guide instructs Laura to keep her distance. It takes almost ten minutes for Carmilla to get tired and slowly calm down. Once she is calm enough the guide takes them to the boat and helps the both of them get in. The guide tries to get Carmilla to tell them what happened, but she seems shut down. She is sitting with her arms tightly around her torso and is rocking back and forth. She look really small but Laura doesn’t know what she can do to help her. They sit in silence while the boat gets them back to White Island. Once back at the island she arranges for the helicopter to get them back to the shore.

 

It’s not until they’re back in the hotel that Laura finds the courage to bring up the big dive incident as she named it in your head.

“What happened back there Carm?” “N-nothing.” Laura’s surprised by how small her voice sounds.

“It didn’t look like nothing.” “Just let it go cupcake.” “No! I talked you into going for that dive and then you panicked. What happened is, at least partially, my fold. Please tell me what I did wrong, that way I can make sure it doesn’t happen again.” “Why do you care so much?” “Because you’re worth caring for.” “You’re something else Laura.” Laura waits for Carmilla to continue and tries to look as encouraging as possible. She takes a deep breath.

“As you might have gathered I have baggage. I’m not ready to tell you what that baggage is, but I can tell you that it is the source of the nightmare I had the other night and chances are that I likely will get others before this month is over. I also have claustrophobia and the combination of sitting in a helicopter and then the dive caused a panic attack  because I felt claustrophobic. I know you’re a journalist and probably have a ton of questions, please don’t ask them. When I’m ready I will tell you more.”

She is right, Laura has many questions but Carmilla looks so fragile sitting on the bed with her arms wrapped tightly around herself that she can’t do anything but say “Okay.” Laura walks over and sits down next to her and gives her a hug.

 

\---

 

Carmilla wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. Something is holding her tightly and she starts to fight it off. It takes a few minutes before she realizes it is Laura that's holding her and she is whispering reassuring words in her ear. As soon as she realizes this she instantly calms down and drifts back to sleep.

 

The next morning she wakes up in Laura's arms and it takes her a little while before she remembers her nightmare and Laura soothing her. Carmilla still can't believe why she is so nice to her but she slowly starts to believe that maybe she is worth to care about. Falling for Laura might not be the worst thing in the world. she enjoy her arms around her a little bit longer and only gets up when she can no longer put of going to the toilet.

When she returns Laura is sitting up and looking confused around the room.

"I tought you left." "Why would I leave cutie?" "You had another bad dream and I know the dive adventure probably triggered it, so I figured you didn't want to be around me anymore." " hey stop that! I'm glad to have met you and to be around you. In fact tonight was the first time I was able to go back to sleep after a nightmare. You are the one that made that possible! You're the one able to calm me down and convince me it's all going to be alright. I will not run from that." "Wh.... I... Ehhh." " Finally I figured out how to get you to shit up huh?" Carmilla makes sure to wink at her just to get her more flustered.

“So tell me, what are we going to do today?” “Tongariro Crossing.” Carmilla doesn’t listen to the rest of Laura’s stry because she’s too busy drinking in her radiating face.

A bus brings them to the start of the Crossing. Laura packed the both of them a bag with a ludicrous amount of water. Nobody drinks 5 liter water a day right? But Laura insists they need to be prepared. By the looks of what she puts in her own backpack they need to fear the zombie apocalypse.

\---

 

So Carmilla is annoying when she is tired. That’s what’s today’s lesson has been so far. They’re about an hour away from the pickup point and the bus is leaving in an hour and a half, so there’s not really time for whining. Of course Carmilla doesn’t see it that way. She has been whining for hours. Laura is this close to giving her a piggyback ride. If only she didn’t have this huge backpack to carry.  

“Come on Carm stop whining. We have about an hour and a half before the bus leaves. Of we’re not there on time we will have to sleep here.”

“What?!? You never told me we had to finish on time.” “Why do you think I keep pushing you to move on?” “Because you like to look at my ass obviously.” “Obviously not. Please move along. I really don’t want to spend the night in the cold in the middle of nowhere.” “I’m sure you have a tent somewhere in that giant backpack. Especially since being prepared is so important to you.” “Hmmpffff.” “That bunch up face you make when you’re angry is hilarious buttercup.” Laura decides to ignore her and starts walking in a faster pace.

“Alright, relax creampuff. I’ll stop complaining and start walking alright. I’m sure we’re going to be on time.”


	7. February 9th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There might be some flirting and a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited july 2017*

## February 9th

After they arrived back at the hotel yesterday Carmilla fell down on the bed and refused to move until breakfast. Laura of course gave in, because when it comes to Carmilla she is weak. they ended up ordering room service and watched old black and white movies. Maybe there was some flirting going on. She’s not entirely sure. Well she’s sure she were flirting with Carmilla, she’s not sure however if Carmilla was actually flirting with her. Laura hopes she was, otherwise her flirting might have been very inappropriate. Arrrggghhh… Stop thinking.

“What’s up creampuff? You have your thinking face on.” “N-Nothing, just waking up. Are you ready for a day full of driving?” “A day full of driving? No excursions today?” “No, We need to be in Wellington tonight. Tomorrow afternoon leaves our ferry to the Southern Island and I need to cover Wellington for my article as well.” “Alright. I better get up and take a shower than.”

It takes the two of them almost two hours to get dressed, have breakfast and check-out. She’s prepared for a lot of stops, but after driving for two hours Carmilla did not once asked to stop so she could take pictures.

“Why aren’t you taking any pictures?” “Hmm, what?” “We’ve been driving for two hours and you haven’t ask me to stop once. Are you not liking what you see?” “Oh believe me cupcake, I’m enjoying the view very much.” “We have enough time today. It’s okay if you want to make pictures, just tell me when you see a place you want me to stop.” “I can make perfect pictures of my beautiful view from right here cutie.” “What kind of super photographer are you if you can make perfect pictures while the scenery is moving?” “Who said anything about taking pictures of the scenery?”

Laura looks to the side and is met with Carmilla taking pictures of her.

“Why the hell are you making pictures of me?” “Because you’re the most beautiful thing here.” “I doubt that.” “Don’t. Just go with it.”

She huffs and keeps her eyes focused on the road. How can this girl go from icecold to smoking hot in no time? And why the hell does she have to flirt with her. Wait… She was flirting wasn’t she?

\---

Okay so she might have been flirting with Laura during the ride to Wellington. She keeps telling herself it’s because she doesn’t have anything better to do, but she knows deep down it’s because she’s falling for her. And somehow this doesn’t scare her as much as it usually does. Maybe it’s time to girl the hell up and admit she likes her. But how is she going to do that? She hasn’t done any proper courting in years. Where to start? Probably with a date. That’s the way to go, right?

“Hi Cutie, do you want to have dinner with me tonight?” “Of course. That’s what we always do right?” “Right…. Is it okay if I pick the place?” “Sure” Well she didn’t say no. But Carmilla doubts Laura sees it as a date. She is going to make her work for it that’s for sure. The rest of the ride she spends on google looking for the perfect restaurant for tonight's dinner.

 

“What are you doing in there Carm? Please hurry. I’m hungry and I don’t want us to miss the reservations you made. Why did you even ma…” “A cat got your tongue cupcake?” “No.. just… Wow! You look… Wow!” “Thanks Cutie. ready to go?” “I feel underdressed. Maybe I should get changed first.” “No need and no time. You look amazing Laura.”

The date starts off a little weird. But that is to be expected since Laura may not be aware of the fact that this is a date. Carmilla hopes that the fact that she dressed up in leather pants and a corset does the trick. Apparently she is more oblivious than Carmilla thought. She has no idea until the waiter leads them into the private room she reserved. The room was full of candles as she instructed.

“Wh… I…. Is this a date Carmilla?” “I was hoping it could be. But if you don’t want it to be it doesn’t have to be.” Her voice sounds less secure than she wants it to be.

“I think I would like this to be a date. Very much.”

Carmilla can’t stop the smile that appears on her face, and she doesn’t want to. After this little talk the weirdness is gone and they have a great night. Better than she’s had in years.

\---

So she had a date with a gorgeous woman and it was a wonderful evening. Now they’re on their way to the hotel and freaking out. She has had dates before but never with someone she shares a room with. What is proper protocol for something like this? When does the date and, do they kiss. Is it going to be weird later tonight or tomorrow. Saying yes might in retrospect not been the smartest move.

“What is bothering you Laura?” “N-nothing’s bothering me. Why would you think something is bothering me?” “Because you have your thinking face on and you’re quiet.” “Ehhh. Well I…. Ehhh.” She takes a deep breath. Communication is key right?

“How does this whole dating your travel companion work? I’ve never done this and I feel a little out of depth here. Like when does the date end, because we’re sharing a room and we will be traveling a couple more weeks. Theoretical this date could last for like 3 weeks. Also what if one of us didn’t enjoy this as much as the other. Will things get weird?” She stops rambling because she seriously is in need of oxygen.

“Okay, first of all I never dated a travel companion while traveling together so we’re going to have to figure this out together. It would be logical to let the date end when we arrive at the hotel.” “I guess that seems logic.” “Listen cupcake, I had a wonderful time and I would like to have another date with you. If you didn’t enjoy yourself as much as I did, please just be honest with me. I promise things won’t get weird. I’m a grown woman I can take rejection.” The confident and flirty side of Carmilla is gone and she sounds so insecure. 

“No Carm, I’m not rejecting you I had a wonderful time. It’s just the whole situation that’s a little weird. I would like to have another date or at least get to know you better.” There is that smile of hers again. She can never get enough of that.

“I’d like that very much.” In the meantime they arrived at their hotel.

“So here we are.” “Indeed we are buttercup. This is where the date comes to an end. Goodnight.” Carmilla leans into her. She’s gonna kiss her right? Before she can think how to react Carmilla has already planted a kiss on her cheek. She turns and walks toward the exit.

“Where are you going?” “I’m leaving like a real gentlewoman to and this date. I’ll be back in a minute.


	8. February 10th and 11th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla tells Laura a little about her past and some fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia  
> *edited july 2017*

## February 10th and 11th

Carmilla has been trailing behind Laura for most of the day. Although the view of Laura’s ass is very nice it isn’t the reason she is keeping her distance. She really enjoyed their date yesterday and so did Laura, which means this could really go somewhere. The idea of a future with Laura feels both incredibly right and terrifying. She deserves to know some things of Carmilla’s history. She’s not ready to tell her everything, but she deserves to know why this is hard for Carmilla. As much as she wants to trust her and open up, her heart is scarred. By keeping her distance she stops herself from blurting everything out in the middle of the street, which is definitely is the wrong place for that conversation. So she has settled for trailing behind Laura and enjoying the view.

It’s well into the afternoon when it’s time for them to check-in at the ferry while waiting in line she took a good look at the boat and she thinks she found a good spot. At the moment she’s dragging Laura along.

“What are you doing Carm? Why are we walking so fast and where are we going?”  “Just wait and see cupcake. I promise it’s worth the wait.”

It takes the two of them a couple more minutes to get to the spot Carmilla picked. It’s a secluded area on the top deck with a few benches.

“Alright I took you here because I have been doing a lot of thinking after our date yesterday and I want to talk about that with you somewhere a little private.”  “O my gosh. You have come to the conclusion that you don’t want to have another date. I knew sooner or later you would realize you could do better.”  “Breathe Laura. I could never do better than you. I want us to have a shot at something together. And I know that we have an ocean between us, but I want the couple of weeks we have left here to be used to get to know each other better and to see if maybe this can be more than a vacation love type of thing. The reason I took you here is because I want to share something with you and I would like to do that with as little audience as possible.”  “Oh…Okay. Are you finally going to tell me about the dreams?” “No, I’m not ready to share that with you and I hope you will have some more patience with me on that matter. Look I’m not good with the whole feelings thing but I do care about you okay?”  “I care about you to.” “Well buckle up creampuff. When I was 15 there was this girl at my school I shared a couple of classes with. We got paired for a chemistry assignment and…”  “You had chemistry together?” “Seriously Creampuff, I’m pouring my heart out here.”  “I’m sorry a friend of mine loves making bad puns and over time it has rubbed off on me. I won’t interrupt again. Please continue.”  “So this girl, Ell, and I fell in love with each other. She knew her parents wouldn’t approve of us so we kept our relationship quiet. We pretended to be best friends and would secretly steal kisses whenever we had the change. I was deeply in love with her and decided I would tell her this on valentine’s day. Since I had planned this big romantic gesture her house was out of the question. I knew my mother would not approve of me and Ell being together, but I didn’t care about her opinion. All I wanted was for Ell to know that I loved her. Mother was out of town a lot for work so I thought my house would be perfect, Will was going on a date himself and even though he found out the day before I was not worries. Will promised to keep my secret at least until after Valentines day. I set everything up in our living room before Ell came over. I was about to tell her when mother walked in, it turned out Will didn’t keep his promise. She send me to my room and walked Ell out. After that Ell started avoiding me. It took me a month of nearly stalking her to get a moment alone with her. She then told me she never wanted to see me again. She loved me but had now learned that I was a monster. It turns out my mother had a little talk with Ell when she walked her out and told her I only wanted to get into her panties and would never lover her. I left her alone and never told her I loved her.” Carmilla stays quiet and brace herself for the inevitable heartbreak when Laura decides she is finally going to leave her.

“Oh my gosh Carm, that’s terrible. Why would your mother say those things about you? Doesn’t she want you to be happy?” “Wait, you don’t think it terrible that I never made things right with Ell?”  “You were fifteen and she called you a monster. It’s called human behavior. But if you felt and still feel terrible about it, maybe you should try and find her and explain everything to her?”  “I looked for her a couple of years back. She died in a car crash a few years after we split up.”

Before Carmilla can register what happens Laura pulls her in for a hug. She hesitates for a moment and then wraps her arms around her waist. It feels like a weight is lifted from her shoulders. She has told someone and they didn’t run for the hills.

\---

Laura keeps Carmilla in a tight hug for a while, hoping against her better judgement that her hug will take away her pain. When she realizes they are almost at Picton she reluctantly lets go.

“We’re almost at Picton. Let’s go.”

The two of them get off the boat and find a nice B&B in Picton. Laura’s glad Carmilla opened up to her. There is much more she isn’t telling Laura yet but for now she’s happy Carmilla is starting to trust her. Now it’s up to her to show Carmilla she is right to trust her.  

Carmilla stays in their room while Laura gets the two of them something to eat.

Telling her story took a lot of Carmilla and she falls asleep after dinner. She looks a lot more relaxed than Laura has seen her this trip. She takes some time to work at her article before she goes to sleep as well.

She wakes up to the smell of coffee and hot chocolate. When opening her eyes she sees Carmilla sitting on the edge of her bed. She put the coffee table in between their beds and it was set with some trays with food, a cup of coffee on Carmilla’s site, a cup of hot chocolate on Laura’s site, two dishes. The one on Laura’s side has a single red rose on it. She can’t hold back a smile, of course Carmilla would be a secret romantic.

“Goodmorning sleepyhead.” “You’re calling me sleepyhead? I usually don’t get more that a grunt from you before noon.” “I had a good night’s rest. Thanks by the way.”  “Why are you thanking me for sleeping well?” “Because you stayed after what I told you yesterday. Also you calmed me down which helped me sleep.” “Well then, you’re welcome. Now what is all this for? I don’t remember saying yes to a breakfast date.” “This is not a date. It’s me asking you to go on another date with me.” “If this is the way you ask woman to go out with you I can’t wait to see what you came up with for our date.”  “Is that a yes?” “Yes, it’s a yes.” “Alright, eat your breakfast. We’re leaving in an hour.” “Wait, you already planned our date? Where you that confident I would say yes?” “I had good hope, but wasn’t sure. If you said no, we could however still have done most of what I’ve planned.” “So what are we going to do?” “We’re going kayaking at the Marlborough Sounds.” “Oh, my god! That’s perfect!” Before she knows what she’s doing she reaches up and kisses Carmilla’s cheek.

\---

They’ve been on the water for a few hours and they really need to get back and turn in the kayaks. Actually, they needed to be heading back like half an hour ago. Unfortunately Carmilla finds herself unable to say no when Laura is pouting. She takes a deep breath, let’s try one last time.

“Laura, please. We need to get back and turn in the kayaks on time.” “When do they need to be back?” “In fifteen minutes.” “What? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” “I tried cupcake.” “It’s okay, we better hurry, don’t want to get into trouble.”

They were back just in time although both of them were panting because of the physical effort it took to get here in time. 

“Ready for the next part cupcake?” “There’s another part?” “There is. Follow me.”

She takes Laura to the car and gets a blindfold out of her bag.

“Why do you have a blindfold?” “I want the next part of our date to be a surprise. Can I blindfold you? If you don’t feel comfortable you don’t have to. I just thought I’d surprise you.” “I trust you Carm! But your arm is in a cast and I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be driving.” “I am amware. It’s only a little drive and besides the car is an automat with cruise control. The thing practically drives itself.” “Alright! I don’t want to ruin your surprise. Put it on.”

She carefully puts the blindfold on and guides Laura into the car. It surprises her when Laura doesn’t ask anything during the short ride to their first destination. When they arrive she tells her she has to pick some things up and will be back in a few minutes. She’s a little surprised when she sees Laura sitting the way she left her, Carmilla kinda expected she would be curious as to where they were and take a peek. She really doesn’t want to ruin Carmilla’s surprise. She can’t stop the smile that forms on her face when she realizes this.

 

“Are you ready to see your surprise?” “Yes.”

She takes of the blindfold and nervously looks at Laura’s reaction. There is a blanket and a picnic basket on the beach in front of them. She’s surrounded it with candles and rose petals. It looks pretty romantic, hopefully Laura appreciates the gesture.

“Wow…. this is… Wow. Thanks Carm!”

The kiss she plants on her cheek makes her heart flutter. Yeah, she’s whipped.

\---

Best. Date. Ever. Seriously first Carmilla takes her kayaking which was fun and also helpful for her article and after that she went all out with this picnic at the beach. Including all Laura’s favorite food, candles and roses. She’s such a romantic and Laura’s seriously falling for her. The date is going to end soon so this is the moment to make her move. Girl the hell up Hollis.

She turns to Carmilla and look at her lips, she’s only inches away. Just lean in Laura. When she starts to lean in Carmilla suddenly stands and starts packing.

“What are you doing, come back here.” “It’s time for bed cupcake, we have another long and tiring day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Her voice sounds cold. Yeah, she shouldn’t have made that move.


	9. February 12th and 13th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited july 2017*

## February 12th and 13th

Laura almost kissed Carmilla and she basically ran. It’s not like her not to want to kiss her because she really does and yes she did go all out yesterday in the hopes of ending the evening with a kiss.

Truth is she can’t compromise her like that. Will has already seen her stick up for Carmilla, there are definitely going to be consequences. What was she thinking taking Laura out on a date, twice. Right she wasn’t thinking!

Laura is a little less cheery than usual this morning. Another thing to add to the list of things Carmilla has done wrong. She lets out a deep sigh.

"What’s the matter Carmilla?” “Nothing cupcake.” “Don’t give me that crap. You’re sighing and not taking pictures. We’re at Abel Tasman Park, supposedly one of the most beautiful parks on the south island and you haven’t even taken your camera out of its bag. There’s definitely something going on, I don’t know what and I’m done worrying about it.” “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m just not ready to tell you.” “You might think that I’m some naïve provincial girl unable to understand whatever it is you’re brooding about. Remember though that just because someone looks at the positive side of things doesn’t mean they haven’t seen the negative.” “And what negative are we talking about here creampuff? Someone stole your cookie in kindergarten?” “My mother died giving birth to me.” Oh shit. That’s some heavy shit and Carmilla was joking about it. “I’m sorry Laura I didn’t mean…” “Yes you did, but don’t worry about it. You didn’t know.” “That doesn’t make me feel less of an ass.” “Well you’ve been an ass for most of the time we spend together, I  didn’t expect anything else really.” “I… Ehhh..” “It’s okay Carm, it’s just who you are right now. Anyway as I said I may look at things from a positive side but I’ve seen the negative. It took me a long time, and the help of my dad and several therapists, to learn that it’s not my fault that my mother died. I do still miss her, but I’ve learned to deal with it. Maybe someday you will find the strength to face your demons.” Laura starts walking faster and Carmilla gathers she wants to stop talking about this. Carmilla really needs to distance herrself from her. She deserves more than Carmilla can ever give her.

\---

Yesterday was weird. Of course yesterday was going to be weird, Laura  nearly kissed Carmilla and she freaked out. It was weirder than she expected though. It felt like she was back at the beginning. Carmilla was closed off and kept her at a distance. Only now she knows more and understands her a little better. She has scars just like Laura, but unlike Laura she never had the caring parent Laura had or the professional help. She actually reminds Laura a little of her younger self. Which means that maybe, if she plays her cards right, she’ll get a seconds change with Carmilla. Just remember to take it slow.

She has put her thoughts and worries about Carmilla aside for the time being. There has to be an article written after all. Today their going on a boat trip to spot dolphins and whales. When they arrive at the dock they learn there has been made a mistake, their reservation is put down for next month instead of today. It takes her half an hour before she convinces the counter clerk the importance of the two of them going on the excursion. It takes him about an hour but eventually they're heading out for the excursion. They’re sitting in a small speedboat. It has just enough room for the captain and the two of them. Laura is so going to have to lie to her dad. This boat does not meet her father’s safety standards.

They’ve been out on the ocean for a couple of hours and they’ve seen an enormous amount of whales and dolphins. From the constant sound of clicking next to her it seems like Carmilla is enjoying herself as well.

\---

Carmilla is sure she made some amazing pictures. The anger that was building inside her after yesterday’s events has vanished and she’s been enjoying herself. Although the small speedboat is pretty wobbly it does make it possible to get closer to the whales than the regular excursion boats. Maybe a little too close Carmilla thinks and at that moment she sees a whale coming up half aside and half under their boat. She grabs the boat and calls out to Laura to do the same but she’s too late. The whale hits the side of the boat. As if everything moves in slow motion Carmilla sees Laura fall out of the boat and getting sucked under water alongside the whale. She needs help. She needs to save her.


	10. February 13th and 14th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but life, work and a vacation happend so, yeah.  
> Anyway here's the new chapter.  
> \-----  
> * edited july 2017*

## February 13th and 14th

Something hits the boat at the same moment Carmilla yells her name. Since she’s not holding on to the boat she gets knocked off and sucked under water alongside a whale. She tries to swim back to the surface but she’s not strong enough. Laura is getting tires and needs to breath. She fights with everything she has in her but it's not enough. _I'm coming mom_ is the last thing she thinks before everything goes black.

\---

Carmilla looks at the spot Laura disappeared under water. Before she  even realizes what she’s doing she has jumped after her. She sees Laura trying to swim back to the surface, but then she stops swimming. Carmilla makes her own body swim faster despite the aching of every muscle. She grabs Laura under her armpits and takes her up. When they’re back above the water she doesn’t start to breath and Carmilla freaks out. 

 “Please Laura breathe! Please cupcake don’t stop fighting now! Please…”

While she keeps telling her to breathe they both get pulled back into the speedboat and before Carmilla knows what happened the captain has her driving the boat back to the coast while he performs CPR on Laura. 

It takes a couple of minutes, but he gets her back. He takes over and tells Carmilla to keep her warm. He has already called for help and an ambulance is on its way.

By the time they arrive at the harbor the ambulance is already waiting and before she even realizes what is happening the ambulance is on its way to the hospital with Laura. The captain of the boat writes down directions to the hospital. She takes the rest of their stuff and drives to the hospital. Hoping she won’t be pulls aside by the police or cause an accident.

By the time she gets to Laura’s room she is already dressed and ready to go. The nurse who changed her cast told Carmilla Laura wouldn’t have any ill effects except maybe a cold so she’s not too surprised to see her sitting there like nothing happened. Carmilla is however surprised by the warm feeling inside her chest when she sees her smile directed at herself. Yeah she definitely fell for the little sundance.

 

“Hey Carm, are you okay?”  “Yeah.” “Thank you for getting me out of the water, I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.” “Yeah, well… I… ehhh.. yeah..” “You know, a normal reaction would be. You’re welcome.” “You’re welcome cupcake. Ready to go?” “Yup!”

 

\---

She wakes up when something collides with her temple. It is Carmilla’s arm. She is whimpering and moves around in the bed like a maniac. She’s having one of her nightmares. 

“Carmilla, wake up. It’s only a dream.”

She gently shakes her shoulder but she doesn’t wake up. Her whimpering gets louder and Laura shakes her harder but she doesn’t wake up.

It takes her ten minutes before Carmilla wakes and starts crying.

“He Carm it’s okay, it was just a bad dream. I’m here if you want to talk about it, but if you don't that’s ok too.”

She curls into Laura like a little spoon and whispers “Thank you for waking me.” Only moments later her breathing evens out and she is fast asleep. Laura kisses the top of her head and whispers. “You’re welcome.”

\---

A very irritating Taylor Swift song wakes Carmilla way too early. It takes her a few moments to realize the annoying sound is in fact Laura’s ringtone. Laura seems to be in the shower, if the sound of splattering water in the bathroom is any indication. Reluctantly she gets up and walks to Laura’s phone with the intention to shut it down. When she look at the caller-id it says Dad and she picks-up.

“Laura’s phone, Carmilla speaking.”  “Hello Carmilla, this is Laura’s dad. Why isn’t she answering the phone?” “She’s taking a shower sir.” “Well could you please pass her the phone anyway?” “Sure sir.”

Carmilla walks to the bathroom and knocks. "Laura, your dad is on the phone"

The door opens a little and a hand comes out. Carmilla hands over the phone and walks back to the bed to tray and nap a little more

About an hour later she hasn’t slept and Laura hasn't come out of the bathroom.

Maybe she should check on her?

Before she realizes what she’s doing she walk to the bathroom door and knocks.

"Laura, everything alright there?"

When she doesn't react Carmilla tries the doorknob. The door isn't locked and she carefully opens it. In case Laura doesn't want her to come in she want her to be able to stop her.

"Laura?"

She hears some sniffles and when the door is fully open she sees Laura curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor.

“Hey Laura, what’s the matter?” “It’s my birthday today.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth she starts sobbing again and Carmilla rushes to her side to take her in her arms. She gently rocks her and waits for her to calm down.

\---

As usual she ended up sobbing after her dad’s birthday call. She knew this would last until she falls asleep from exhaustion, but somehow this year something was different. She doesn’t remember how but she ends end up in Carmilla’s arms and this calms her down so much that she’sre able to get up and pack her stuff within half an hour. Not that she actually gets the chance to pack, because Carmilla tells her to sit on the bed and let her handle it. She’s too tired to fight her on it.

 

“So where are we going next cupcake?” “Greymouth”

They drive in silence for a little while when she spots a sign saying New Zealand’s longest swingbridge.

“Can we go there Carm?”  “Where?” “The swingbridge!” “Sure cutie.”

When they arrive Laura takes her phone to do some last minute research. This didn’t come up in her original search plus she likes to be prepared… so what.

When she is done with her research the get out of the car and walk into the entrance building. The price list includes something called the Cometline and Laura’s interest is peaked. It sure sounds like a thrill. While looking at the prices she hears Carmilla talk to the guy at the check-out.

“Two tickets please, one with the Cometline. Coming cupcake?” “Huh. Why did you buy a ticket for the Cometline? I wouldn’t have pegged you as the thrill seeking kind.” “I’m not riding back the Cometline, you are.”

She takes Laura’s hand and drags her towards the swingbridge

\---

They walk around for about half an hour. She doesn’t really get this place. From what she hears Laura rambling about there is some significance to this place that has to do with an earthquake and a flood. She couldn’t care less, but Laura does and she has a small smile on her face. It isn’t much but it is way better than she was doing this morning, so Carmilla sucks it up and starts thinking of a way the make better memories for Laura for today.

“He Broody mcGee!” “Huh what?” “Where were you?” “Right here Cutie.” “Your body maybe.” “Sorry I was lost in thought. Read to get on the Cometline?” “Yeah. Definitely!”

She walks back across the swing bridge and finds a nice spot to look at Laura. She can’t stop the chuckle that escapes when she watches her cross the water hanging from a cable in a harness. She’s wearing that beautiful smile and laughing loudly. Carmilla’s glad she got her a glide on the Cometline. It probably doesn’t make this day any less crappy, but at least she got to laugh for a few minutes today.    
   
 “So the next stop is Punakaiki. I can’t write an article about New Zealand without including the Pancake Rocks.” “Yeah I’m sure it has nothing to do with the name and your sweet tooth.” “Haha. Very funny.” “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you sweetheart.” “Whatever, let’s go.”

They drive in silence for a couple of hours which is a huge sign that Laura is not doing as well as she is trying to make her believe.

By the time they arrive at Punakaiki the silence in the car actually makes Carmilla feel uncomfortable. This is worrisome since she never had trouble with silence before. Well she guesses it’s not her fold that Laura’s voice is so damn addictive.

“Don’t forget your jacket Carmilla, it looks like it’s going to rain soon.”

Even when she’s having an off day she still manages to care about her. This girl is something else.

And so are those Pancake Rocks. They manage to keep Carmilla’s attention for at least an hour. She even stops thinking about Laura something that probably hasn’t happened since she met her. Because of the approaching storm the sea is very rough pounding on the rocks, water splashing all around them. She could stay here all day and not get bored. Unfortunately she has plans for a certain sunshine.

“Come on cupcake, let’s get to Greymouth and find a place to sleep.”

\---

She knows she has been quiet all day, but thankfully Carmilla doesn’t seem to mind too much. She seems to understand what’s going on in her head and leaves her be. Yeah she’s glad she told her about her mum. Now she doesn’t have to answer questions, although she doubts Carmilla would ask any if she didn’t know. It’s not like she’s interested in what’s going on with Laura, right?

“Laura, put on your shoes. We’re going out.”  “I don’t feel like going out.” “To bad you’re coming.” With those words She gets dragged out of the bed and shoved towards the door.

“Alright I’m coming. Jeez no need to get handsy with me.”

Carmilla takes her out of the town in the direction of the Pancake Rocks but stops at a picnic spot in the middle of nowhere. When she takes an expensive bottle of champagne out of the trunk Laura starts to protest again.

“Carmilla, I’m not in the mood for any romance or celebration. Not today. I just want to go to bed and forget about today.” “Listen Laura I get today is hard for you, it being your mother’s death’s anniversary and all. This morning you grieved losing your mother too soon, tonight we’re going to drink champagne, look at the stars and celebrate the life your mother had.” “You know, when I was little my dad used to say that my mum left to become a star in the sky. She would always be there to watch over me, because even if you can’t see them the stars are always there.” “A wise man.” “Yeah.”

Carmilla hands her a glass of champagne before she takes her own glass and lifts it.

“Here’s to you mother’s life.”

Laura lifts her own glass and looks up to the stars.

“Cheers, mum.”


	11. February 15th and 16th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited july 2017*

## February 15th and 16th

When Laura wakes up the next morning Carmilla is already up and has packed most of her things.

That’s weird.

“Goodmorning. Why are you up before the alarm?” “I was awake.” “You’re practically nocturnal. So I ask again, why are you up before the alarm?” “Fine, I had another nightmare and after I woke up I wasn’t able to go back to sleep.” “Want to talk about it?” “No.”

Sometimes she wonder why she even bothers to ask if Camrilla wants to talk about her nightmares. The girl is like a vault at the national bank so well are her feelings hidden. If Laura wanta to know what makes this girl tick she has to step up her game. If only she knew how.

"Let me get the last of my stuff and then we can go."

 

They don’t talk much during the ride. It’s raining pretty badly so Laura has to concentrate on her driving. Although if she’s completely honest with yourself that’s only an excuse to not talk to Carmilla. Yesterday she did something amazing and she’s sure that it will make her birthday next year a little easier. After all this time she feels likeshe can slowly start to move on. As much as therapy has helped her deal with her mother’s dead it never took the guilt fully away. At her birthday it always hits her extra hard and the fact that Carmilla managed to get her to stop sobbing and get out means a lot. It's something she has never been able to do. So yeah she owes her big time. So instead of talking and enjoying the views she gets of the stormy sea or the ferns and old trees in the rainforest they cross she spends the day inside her head trying and failing to come up with a plan the help Carmilla in a way similar to the way she helped her yesterday.

Somewhere deep down she registers that Carmilla’s camera hardly stops clicking during their trip and she wants Laura to stop at pretty much every stop area they come across. By the time they arrive at fox glacier rhey are exhausted. Thankfully Carmilla takes the lead again. She finds a hotelroom and takes their bags inside. She tells Laura to take a bath because she will take her out for dinner tonight. Wait is she having a date with Carmilla tonight? Can’t she stop doing all these amazing and romantic things long enough for Laura to get a chance to repay her? Suddenly she remembers their first day on the south island, the picnic and almost kiss. Maybe this isn’t a date. Carmilla didn’t want to kiss her then, why would she want to kiss her now?

“Hey Laura, are you okay in there?” “Y-yes I-I’m fine!” “Are you sure? You’ve been in the bathroom for almost two hours.”

It wasn’t that long, was it? She looks at the clock and sees Carmilla is right. For the last two hours she has been freaking out about the date that isn’t an actual date.

“I need fifteen more minutes, is that okay?” “Take all the time you need creampuff.”

\---

“I’m Ready.” “Give me fifteen minutes to get ready.”

She takes a quick shower and puts on some clean clothing. She goes with some black ripped skinny jeans and her phases of the moon shirt.

“Let’s go sunshine.”

The guy at the hotel recommended the Cook Saddle Saloon for dinner. It supposed to have a great ambiance and good food. She’s a little nervous because tonight has to be perfect if she ever wants a chance to make up for her screw up that was their first date.

She walks in and has to admit it does have a good ambiance. Maybe a little too horsy for her taste with the saddle and other horse riding equipment on the walls. There’s also an open fireplace which is just the sort of small romance she’s going for today. No grand gestures just everything they normally do with a little more romance. She’s going to properly woo this amazing woman.

After fish and chips with some local cider they head back to the hotel. Sure there was a moment when they were walking in the moonlight when she could have kissed Laura, but she didn’t. First wooing then kissing. Let’s do it right this time around.

She wakes up way too early to a bouncing Laura next to her.

“Carmilla, have you seen the wetter. It’s beautiful, not a cloud to be seen. You need to get up fast, I’m sure the heli-hike I reserved us is a go with this wetter.” “Heli-hike?” “Yeah a helicopter will fly us up on the glacier and then will get a guided tour on it.” “You do know I don’t like small spaces right?” “Yeah, but I thought if you got a seat next to the pilot it wouldn’t be as bad. That way you can look out the window and maybe you feel less locked up?”

And she’s giving her puppy eyes, like she can say no to those. Also she probably is right.

“I guess that could work.” “Okay let’s get ready.”

Laura bounces of the bed and throws her some clothes.

“You’ve got 10 minutes sleepy head.”

A growl leaves her mouth but she still gets up and dressed.

After the weather forecast is watched they get lead into a backroom for the first instructions and water resistant clothes for who wants them.

There are a couple of dozen people and everybody is lead into a bus that takes them to the helicopter platform. Here they get part two of the instructions during which she wants to sleep, but Laura keep telling her to listen and pay attention. After that they apparently get boots. What is that about?

“I’m not wearing these.” “Yes you are, stop complaining Carm!”

\---

When they arrive at the glacier she lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Carmilla survived the helicopter flight. Now she could relax.

As instructed she kneels down when the helicopter starts to rise. Obviously Carmilla isn’t paying attention and she has to yank her down with her. It ends in an awkward position with Carmilla on top of her and that is way too close for her to be if she wants to keep control of her feelings. Also they get weird looks from the people around them. Thank god Carmilla gets up quickly and the guides start passing out spikes and explain how to put them on.

The group gets divided over two guides and their group heads up. After a few exercises on how to properly and safely walk with the spikes they and up at some beautiful arches and crevices. According to the guide it's safe to walk through them. She goes but keeps a close eye on Carmilla although it doesn't look like it's really tight but that may change further in. When she’s out at the other side she’s relieved this didn't seem to have bothered Carmilla at all.

For the next hour or so they slowly walk back towards the makeshift helicopter platform. When they get there the guide announces that they can all go in the glacier if they want. There is a tunnel just behind the platform that they are free to explore. She’s getting her camera when she feels a hand tap your shoulder.

“Here take my camera, it will give you better pictures.” “I don’t know how to work it and I’m afraid I may break it.” “It’s all ready, you only have to push this button halfway, then the lens will focus. After that you push it in all the way and the picture will be taken.” “Are you sure you’re not coming with me?” “Yes, you go and have fun though!”

She makes as many pictures as she can in the tunnel. Just to make sure Carmilla will get an idea of what it is like. It’s nothing like the real deal but probably the closest she will get.

After the heli-hike they are so tired they decide to take a nap.

 

\---

“Hi Sunshine, wake up!” “hmmm no!” “Come on I have dinner.”

She waves the bag with the burgers in front of Laura’s face and that gets her up.

“You got dinner thanks!” “Yeah yeah whatever. Come on let’s eat before it gets cold.”

They sit in silence for a little while. There are a few things she wants to tell Laura about herself but it takes a little time to get the courage. She tries to start a few times but she can’t get the words to leave her mouth. In the end Laura sits down next to her and takes her hands in her own.

“Take a deep breath and just let the words come Carm.”

It’s all she needs because after that the words come.

She tells her about her parents’ divorce and her dad’s new wife and how both of her parents died in some freak accident when they drove to a parent teacher conference together. The only thing they were able to do together without fighting after the divorce.

She also tells her how you were forced to live with her stepmom and stepbrother Will, both off whom she doesn’t really get along with. For once Laura doesn’t asks questions and squeezes her hands every now and then. Finally she gets some of her issues out and it doesn’t feel wrong to tell. Of course she doesn’t tell her everything, she doesn’t need to know her darkest secrets or the cause of her claustrophobia. Maybe one day though she will be able to tell her that, maybe.


	12. February 18th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited july 2017*

## February 17th

Yesterday Carmilla finally opened up to her. She probably hasn’t told Laura her whole story, but it is a start. She’s trying and Laura knows she didn’t just do it for her but still.

Thankfully Carmilla is her usual self this morning.  It takes her the usual thirty minutes to get her out of bed, but they manage to leave at a decent time considering the long way ahead of them today.

“Hey Carm?” “Yeah?” “I really appreciate what you have done for me.” “And what exactly have I done?” “You know….” “Do I now?” “Yes you know! Please don’t make me say it.” “Say what?”  “You’re being impossible today.” “Isn’t that what made you fall for me?”

Laura can feel her face starting to blush. She takes a deep breathe there goes nothing.

“That and your gorgeous face.”

She looks to her site and almost drivea off the road when she sees the blush on her face. She makes a mental note to try to get her to blush more often because… wow!

They drive in a comfortable silence for a little while before Laura speaks up again.

“I was wondering of you could stop doing all those sweet things long enough for me to do something for you?” Laura sees her face fall at the beginning of her sentence but when she rushes out the second part her face lights up.

“I guess I could if you insist.” “Alright tonight I’m in charge of the date.” “A date huh?” “Y-yes unless you don’t want it to be a date. I mean it totally doesn’t need to be a date it can be just hanging with a friend or whatever.” “Jesus Cupcake, please breathe! A date is fine.” “Okay, a date it is then.”

\---

She can’t believe she said yes to a date with Laura. Well after opening up a little to her she’s not too surprised, this girl has stolen Carmilla’s heart the day she met her. What does surprise her though is the fact that this is first time she doesn’t mind that she owns her heart. She has given her this thing she lost a long time ago, hope. Maybe with laura she can make it work, maybe she is worthy of a girl like Laura and maybe she is capable of loving somebody other than herself. suddenly she hears a knock on the bathroom door. 

“Are you almost ready Carmilla?” “Give me ten more minutes.” “Alright I’ll be right here waiting.”

 

When she gets out of the bathroom she finds Laura waiting for her on her bed.

“Ready?” She asks while getting up and walking towards the door. 

“Yeah.”

She follows Laura out of the lodge and wonders where she’s going to take her. She’s seen a couple of restaurants, so that’s probably where they’ll go. But she doesn’t walk in the direction of the car or in the direction of the restaurants for that matter.

“Aren’t you curious as to where I’m taking you?” _Yes_ “No, not at all.” “Really?” “Yup.” She tries to sound indifferent but the look in Laura’s eyes tell her she has failed.

“hmmmhmm. If you say so.” She takes Carmilla’s hand and intertwines their fingers. For a moment she stiffens but she forces herself to relax and enjoy the warm feeling of Laura’s hand in her own.

They have walked for about ten minutes when she realizes what Laura has planned.

“So you’re going to copy my moves? I thought better of you.” “I’m not copying you.” “This looks an awful lot like a picnic on the beach.” “It’s not a picnic on the beach.” “Than what is it?” “An open-air-dinner at a lake.” “And how is that different?” “Just go with it grumpy.” She gives Laura a small smile and sit down.

“Alright. So what’s for dinner?”

\---

Carmilla was right she did steal her idea, but it’s not like she has a ton of experience when it comes to romantic gestures, so yeah she stole her idea.

She’s glad she did because they did have a wonderful time. Also she remembered to keep her cool and not kiss the girl. Well sort of… 

When they finished eating she took Carmilla for a little walk along the lake before taking her back to the lodge. When they arrived at their room she gave her a small peck on the cheek before turning and going inside, not missing the blush on Carmilla’s cheeks. Yeah she nailed it.


	13. February 18th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *edited 2017*

## February 18th

So Laura kissed her cheek yesterday. That was unexpected, but not unwanted. She just has to make sure that she doesn’t screw up this time. Thankfully Laura has the both of them set up for a trip to Milford Sound, that should be enough to keep her distracted.

Way too early for her taste the two of them and everybody else who takes this trip is at the organization's office waiting for a coach to drive you to Milford.

It’s a two hour drive through the southern alps. It doesn’t take Carmilla long to learn the downside of taking the coach to the harbour, the driver decides when and where to stop. And it’s not like she can make a ton of good pictures through the window with the rain pouring down like a monsoon. Even if she has secured the best place possible in the front of the bus next to the driver.

After trying for an hour she put her camera away, so much for that distraction. She tries to look at the scenery passing by but she finds herself watching Laura more and more.

“Enjoying the view?” Yeah she got caught. Just her luck.

“Hmm?” “Are you enjoying the view?” “It’s not bad.” “Not bad? Does that mean that you have seen better?” “Maybe.” “Way to woo a girl Carmilla.”

Laura crosses her arms and stares out of the front window. Way to go Karnstein.

\---

She really thought the two of them had a moment yesterday a connection that’s going to lead to something more. But then she goes and say something infuriating.  For the rest of the bus ride she ignores Carmilla. As soon as the bus stops she gets up and moves to the boat out without even looking back whether or not Carmilla is following her. At the moment she couldn’t care less.

Once she has boarded the boat she goes to front deck, this is support to have the best view. When the boat starts moving she sees Carmilla walk up the deck and towards her, she immediately turn around and walks of the deck through the other door. Just her luck to get stuck on a boat with Carmilla when she’s not in the mood to deal with her. Last time she pulled back was when Laura tried to kiss her and she understood. she moved too fast, but this time she had the right pace and they both know more about each other. Right?... Right? Yeah she did. She sits on the back deck while she listens to the guide talking about the waterfall on their right that is used as the power source for the village. When he starts to name some of the mountains she loses focus because Carmilla walks up the deck and moves determined in her direction. First she walks towards the back of the deck to get Carmilla away from the door, when she is far enough away she practically runs for the door and ignores Carmilla calling after her. Never has she been more unhappy with being on a boat than she is now.

It takes the boat an hour to reach the end of the sound and instead of listening and looking around she spends that hour playing cat and mouse  with Carmilla. She just locked herself in the toilet hoping that Carmilla will finally get the message when with a sputtering sound the engine of the boat dies. Great, just what she needed, stranded on a boat with Carmilla.

\---

She watches Laura lock herself in the toilet when the engine of the boat dies down. Good, just what she needed, stranded on a boat with the little angel. She settles herself on the deck next to the toilet, eventually Laura will need to get off the toilet. It is the only one on the boat surely people will start to complain if she stays in there for too long.

It has been almost half an hour since the engine broke down and the captain informed them that they would be stuck on the boat until a towboat would arrive to get them back to the harbor.

The small line that is forming on the deck is starting to block her view of the door when she hears it open. By the time she has struggled through the line of waiting people Laura is gone. She goes inside to find her.

 

After looking for an hour she gives up. Laura apparently doesn’t want to be found. When she hears the captain announce that there is free soup and sandwiches in the restaurant she decides to get something to eat before starting to search for Laura once again. Walking in the restaurant she spots the cupcake immediately. She doesn’t see Carmilla and she decides to stay out of sight. If she wants a chance to talk to her she needs it to be somewhere a little more private. She has to make up for what she said this morning.

She follows Laura from a distance until the sun is set and she goes to the empty deck at the back of the boat. This is her chance. She quietly walks onto the deck.

“I’m sorry for being a smartass this morning.” “I thought you got the message that I don’t want to talk to you.” “Yeah I got that, but I really wanted to apologize.” “Well apology accepted. Please leave.”

Carmilla approaches her silent and careful

“Also I wanted you to know that I lied this morning. I haven’t seen anything more beautiful than you. Not even the stars can compare.”

Laura looks at her and she briefly sees surprise in her eyes before they narrow and she seems to be looking for something in Carmilla’s eyes. She looks back into Laura’s eyes trying to show her how deeply she feels about her. After a few moments she takes a breath.

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

Carmilla takes this as her cue and moves in to place a soft kiss on Laura’s lips. She can’t and wouldn’t want to stop the sigh that escapes her the moment she kisses back.


	14. February 19th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever, I know. Sorry! There is only a few chapters left, so I'm pretty confident this story will be finished this year.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> \---  
> *edited july 2017*

## February 19th

The sun is barely rising when she wakes up. She fell asleep on the bench at the back deck in Carmilla’s arms. Carefully she gets out of Carmilla’s arms and of the bench. She walks to the railing and watches the sunrise while thinking back to yesterday. The two of them hadn’t really talked last night. She didn’t want to ruin things when she finally had the girl in her arms. It is a temporary hiding really, in less than a week they’re going back home and by then she needs to have had this conversation.

She hears ruffling behind her and knows Carmilla is waking up. She lets out a deep sigh, now is not the time for this conversation, and turns around. 

“Good Morning Carm.” “Morning Cupcake.” Carmilla’s groggy morning voice is way too sexy. She gets up, walks over to Laura and leans in for a kiss. She stiffens for a moment before she remembers she can kiss her now.

“Wanna grab breakfast?”  “How about we get back to our bench and lie down for another couple of hours. It’s way too early to be up.” Carmilla hugs her from behind and places a kiss on her neck. Those arms feel so comfortable and that kiss… that kiss is all the encouragement she needs to get back on the bench. It takes her only minutes to fall back to sleep.

\--- 

She wakes when she gets jostled around by a sudden movement of the boat. She nearly falls off the bench but Laura’s fast reflexes catch her. 

“Whoah there grumpy, careful.” “Thanks.” “You’re welcome. I guess the tow boat has arrived huh.” “Hmmhmm.” Laura is to awake for Carmilla to handle without caffeine. She gets up from her arms and walk inside.

“Where are you going?”  “Coffee.” “Right, how could I forget that you can’t function without your morning shot of caffeine.” Carmilla can hear the eye roll in her voice, but decides not to comment. Nothing good can come from reacting to that ball of sunshine before she had her coffee and is in the land of the living.

When she walks off the deck into the boat the captain announces that they should be at the harbor in about an hour.

\---

She knows they have the conversation, but somehow the moment was never right. Last night they were too busy getting acquainted with each other's mouths, this morning Carmilla wasn’t really awake. Later Carmilla had a caffeine shortage, there was the bus ride back to the hotel, dinner. Until now the two of them hadn’t really been alone and she didn’t want to have this conversation with an audience. _Girl the hell up Hollis, you can do this_. She takes a deep breath and walks out of the bathroom into the bedroom and gasps. Carmilla has put up candles everywhere and dimmed the lights. It’s so beautiful and romantic that she almost forgets that they you need to have a conversation. 

“It’s beautiful Carm” “Thanks. Listen I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m not trying to be romantic to get into your pants.” “So you make a romantic gesture to tell me you don’t want to be in my pants?” “No.. damn. I’m fucking this up again. Just please don’t run and give me a chance to finish what I want to say. Please?” “Okay.” “As much as I don’t like to, I think it is important that we talk. You know… make sure we’re on the same page. I figured it might be easier if we do that in a cozy ambiance.” “I was planning on talking about us with you tonight, so I agree. The whole candles thing threw me off though.” “I understand I’m sorry. Let’s sit.” She sits next to Carmilla on the couch and waits for her to start. But after a few minutes it becomes clear that she isn’t going to start this conversation. She decides the dive right in.

“Soooo, we kissed.” “We did.” “How do you feel about that?” “I’d like to do it again.” “I’d like that to.” Before she can continue Carmilla leans in and kisses her. After a few minutes Laura pushes her away.

“As much as I enjoy this, I think there is at least one more thing to discuss.” In all honesty, there are more than one thing she would like to discuss, but she knows that she needs to take small steps with Carmilla.

“What is this thing we’re doing. Do you want it to be casual or more?” “I don’t know, what do you want?” She takes her time. A part of her wants to push Carmilla into giving an answer, but a bigger part knows she’s not going to get it. She lets out a small sigh.

“I’m not sure. I know that I like you, a lot, but I also realize that in less than a week you’re flying back to Austria while I’m of to Canada.” “What do you suggest? Enjoy it while it lasts?” For a split second she thinks that she sees hurt in Carmilla’s eyes but it’s gone before she can fully analyze it.

“Yes.” The moment the word leaves her mouth Carmilla surges forward and captures her lips in a flaming kiss.


	15. February 20th

## February 20th

After her little talk with Laura yesterday they spend the rest of the evening making out. If she’s honest she’s a little disappointed Laura just wants a little fling. She knows rationally she is right, she doesn’t know where things will lead once she’s back in Austria and Laura’s in Canada. If they didn’t live that far apart, maybe they could make it work. She’s not going to dwell on that though, she’s going to enjoy everything Laura decides to give her. After all in less than a week she’ll be back in Austria with her mother and Will. She hears a knock on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” “You’re phone is ringing, the caller ID says W.L.. Do you want me to take it?” “No!” She says a little too forceful. “I’ll call back when I’m ready.” “Alright.” Leave it to her brother to get in touch when life seems good to her. Just great. She knows her mood has gone sour and Laura deserves better than to have to put up with it. Yet somehow she doesn’t have it in her to put on a mask.

After she finishes getting dressed she walks out with a scowl on he face and snatches her phone of the nightstand before walking out. Just before the door closes she hears Laura’s confused voice.

“Carm, everything okay?”

\---

What the what? Carmilla just walked out on her like she wasn’t even in the room. She really thought they were past the ‘let’s run away from things’ stage of their relationship or thing or whatever it is the two of them have. Maybe it had something to do with the call from W.L.? Why would Carmilla only use initials? How is she going to get answers to these questions when Carmilla has decided she is invisible. She lets out a deep sigh and starts packing. After she’s finished with her own stuff she packs Carmilla’s as well. She might be acting like a raging bad person, she still l-... cares about her. When she’s almost finished Carmilla comes back in. She looks like she’s just seen a ghost.

“Hi.” Laura decides to go for a simple greeting instead of all the questions that are swimming around in her head.

“Hi. Ready to go?” She wonders if she is imagining things or if Carmilla really sounded as rude as she was the night the two of them met. 

\---

She know she’s not treating Laura the way she deserves, but Will’s call has her shaken up. She knew this was too good to be true. She doesn’t want to risk traveling any further with Laura, but she can’t leave now. She doesn’t have a car and she’s relying on Laura to have access to her money. Maybe she can get the rest of her money on her bank account when they’re in Bluff. That way she can sneak of in the middle of the night and things don't get messy, or messier. 

Unfortunately the road they’ve taken to Bluff has suffered a wash-out and they need to go back and take another route. This not only leads to more strangled silence in the car but also a huge delay. It’s nearly midnight by the time they arrive at their hotel. She doesn’t have it in her to ask Laura for her money when she’s almost asleep behind the wheel. Well, tomorrow is another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short chapter that has only one purpose: to set things up for the next chapter.
> 
> *edited july 2017*


	16. February 21st

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...
> 
> \---  
> *edited 2017*

## February 21st

She’s been patiently waiting for Carmilla to come to her and talk, or make out. Either would be better than the cold shoulder Laura received all day yesterday. It looks like she’s not planning on doing that anytime soon and that is just not acceptable. Carmilla’s treatment kept her up all night, but she did manage to come up with a solution. She’s sure this will make Carmilla open up, although a small voice in her head keeps telling her this might be the last straw and make Carmilla run for good. She ignores said voice. She got up early and made sure to be as quiet as possible when she left. Arrangements had to be made, without Carmilla knowing.

She got the two off them tickets for the first ferry to Stewart’s Island. Once they’re at the island there is nowhere for Carmilla to run and Laura’ll confront her. Surely she will open up than, or kill her…

Since she has to wake Carmilla at an ungodly hour she came prepared with the biggest and strongest coffee she could find. After taking a few deep breaths she walks into the room.

“Good Morning Carm. I know it’s way too early, but the only available ferry tickets are for the first ferry.” She cringes at the lie, but it’s for the greater good she reminds herself.

“I did bring you coffee though.” Laura puts the coffee on the nightstand and start packing both of their stuff.

“Actually, I have other plans today and I was hoping you could get me the rest of my money this morning.” She knew it! Carmilla plans on fleeing, well not on her watch she won’t.

“I’m sorry Carm, the ferry leaves in twenty minutes. I don’t have time to go to the bank with you. You can come along and I’ll get you your money afterwards.” Carmilla stays silent for a long few moment and she starts to panic. 

“Please? If I wait till tomorrow to go to Stewart’s Island I won’t make it to my plane in time and if I don’t cover Stewart’s Island my boss is going to be pissed.” She pulls out her best puppy dog eyes and hopes for the best. When Carmilla lets out a big sigh she knows she won this round.

“Alright whatever. Tonight I want my money though!”  “Absolutely.” Laura lets out a small sigh of relief and start packing again. Part one accomplished.

\---

Carmilla is not happy, not happy at all. She should have asked for her money yesterday evening, but no she had to be all considered and let Laura get her sleep. The longer Laura and her keep hanging out together the more danger the little cupcake is in. She knows this and yet she doesn’t say goodbye. 

“Maman and Will are right you are a weak little girl.” She takes one last look at the mirror, let out a deep sigh and walk out of the bathroom with her toiletries.

“Ready?” “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

\---

 

Carmilla is still giving her the cold shoulder. It has taken every ounce of patience Laura’s got in her to not start with part two of her plan prematurely. She’s been quiet all the way to the ferry, on the ferry and for the past hour here on Stewart’s Island. But now it’s time for part two.

“Hey Carm.” “Yes?” Laura cringes at the irritated tone, but takes a deep breath and goes on.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been distant yesterday and this morning. Have I done something to upset you?”  “No.” “Than what is the reason you keep ignoring me? And if you absolutely must speak to me you only use one syllable words.” “It’s none of your business.” “And here I was thinking that girlfriends discuss the things that bother them with one another.” And She just broke the promise she made to herself not to get angry or raise her voice.

“Girlfriends? Sex buddies, or make out buddies would be a better description of this thing we had going on.” Ouch that hurt.

“I was under the impression we’re in a relationship. Wait a second,   had   going on what’s with the past tense?”

“This has never been a relationship Laura. In a relationship you commit to each other no matter what. You made it perfectly clear you didn’t want to commit when you told me you just wanted to enjoy things while they lasted. Guess what, our thing is past it expiration date. Goodbye.” Carmilla storms off while Laura calls after her.

“That’s not fair Carmilla.” That could have gone a lot better. At least she can’t get far since Laura got the car keys. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. She put the keys in the backpack Carmilla is carrying _. No time to dawdle Hollis, get your ass to the ferry._

By the time she gets to the ferry she sees it sail out of the harbor. The hour she has to wait until the next ferry she spends pacing. Please let her be at the car, or still on the island. 

Unfortunately her prayers have not been answered. The car is gone, she takes a taxi to the hotel and holds on to the last sliver of hope that Carmilla will be in their room. Deep down she knows it is wishful thinking. She shouldn’t have pushed, she knows she shouldn’t have pushed but she did it anyway. For the past weeks Carmilla has been consistent in one thing: every time Laura got close she would flight and still she had to push. Her need to know everything got the best of her and made her push away Carmilla, very possibly forever. The taxi driver keeps looking at her like she’s some kind of weirdo. She probably looks like a sobbing crying mess. When she arrives at the hotel she throws some money at the driver and run to their room. 

When she steps into the room the last of her hope leaves her and she feels her heart break. The woman she’s truly, madly, deeply in love with is gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter will be up by sunday.


	17. February 22nd and 23rd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse, assault and death mentioned
> 
> This chapter is a little longer than I thought it would be, but I'm sure you don't mind.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> \---  
> *edited july 2017*

## February 22nd and 23rd

She wakes up with a giant headache. Probably from all the crying last night. It looks like the sun is just coming up, which means she only slept a few hours. What made her wake up? Because it’s way too early for her alarm. She listens for a few moments before she registers the sound of a shower. Somebody is in her bathroom taking a shower. The remnants of sleep leave her immediately. As silently as possible she gets out of bed and creeps to the bathroom door. Once at the door she takes a couple of deep breaths to steel herself for what she might find behind the door. After one last deep breath she bursts into the bathroom.

“You better get out of that shower and out of my room because I know Krav Maga and I’m not afraid to use it.” The person in the shower jumps, turns and opens the shower curtain.

“I’m sorry cupcake, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Okay, Carmilla is standing in her bathroom in front of her … naked… Which turns out is an excellent way to shut Laura up. And make her blush.

“I.. Y.... Ugh.” She tries to say something but fail miserably.

“Cat got your tongue?” Oh no! She does not get to go all sassy on her after that stunt she pulled yesterday.

“What are you doing here?” “Taking a shower cutie.” “Do NOT cutie me. Yesterday you said I was nothing more than a make out buddy before you ran away and stole my car! I demand an explanation.” Carmilla looks a little scared by Laura’s reaction.

“Laura listen, I’m sorry! You have every right to get an explanation from me, however now is not the time and here is not the place. I’ll explain everything later.” “Why should I trust you?” “You shouldn’t. However I’m sure your inner journalist would like some answers.” Laura can’t deny that logic.

“Okay I’m gonna go along with this for now. But I want the car keys.” Carmilla moves to pass her and she realizes she is still very naked. Immediately she feels her face heat up and leaves the bathroom.

“Laura? I know it’s still early but I’d like to leave as soon as possible. I can pack while you shower of you like.” Carmilla almost sounds unsure, definitely not like what she’s grown accustomed to. When she turns around to answer she sees the same timid girl that was standing beside her when she gave her brother a piece of her mind that first night in Auckland.

“I’ll start packing now while you get dressed.” She picks up the towel that hangs next to the door and hands it over. Carmilla doesn’t seem to be bothered by being naked in front of Laura, but Laura is. Every time she look at her her brain short circuits.

\---

When Laura is in the shower she finishes packing and waits impatiently for her to finish. They have to move quick to make sure this time nothing happens. Deep down she knows she should have ditched the car and ran far, far away from Laura, but she makes her so happy and she’s just not strong enough to give up that happiness. She does however deserve to know what she’s getting into, so Carmilla’s going to explain everything tonight. She already ditched her phone and she’s sure she wasn’t followed back here. That doesn’t mean he isn’t already in the neighborhood watching Laura and if he isn’t already he will be soon. It really is astonishing what money can buy. After wiping away a stray tear, she does not cry, she checks the room one last time. After Laura packed het toiletries they move to the car quickly.

“Can I please drive? I want to make sure nobody follows us.” “Why would anybody follow us?” “Tonight, I promise.” Laura doesn’t seem convinced but does hand over the car keys.

After a six hour drive they arrive in Dunedin a little after noon. Laura complained the whole way there that the journey took too long and she wouldn’t be able to cover Dunedin. It took every ounce of Carmilla’s patience and then some not to snap at her. That definitely wouldn’t help in her endeavor to regain Laura’s trust. So instead she speeded and took more risk than she felt comfortable with. Last night Carmilla memorized as much small roads as possible for their trip today. The smaller the roads and the more bends the smaller the change of somebody able to follow them. Carmilla made sure to check the rearview mirror as much as she could and she hasn’t seen anybody follow them.  All that’s left to do is convince Laura that she needs to led her out of her sight for a couple of hour. It was probably easier to get to the moon.

“Hi Cupcake, I know you kinda expect me to come along to take some pictures of Dunedin, but if it’s okay it rather  go out alone and find a place where we can talk later. You can take my camera though.” Carmilla adds the last in hopes to bribe her. Of course she should have known better.

“I don’t trust you to come back Carmilla. And to be honest after your little display of paranoia this morning I’m starting to question your mental health.” “I understand, but I have a lot to tell you and I want to make sure that we can have this conversation in a comfortable place where we won’t be interrupted.” Laura is silent and Carmilla feels the urge to reassure her.

“Okay how about this. Not only will I give you my camera for the afternoon, you’ll also get my passport. That way I can’t really go away.” “You got a temporary passport in Auckland, I’m sure you could get another one.” “I could, however I don’t have any money to pay for a new temporary passport.” “Well I guess so, and I do appreciate the gesture.” Laura is silent for a few minutes, but Carmilla stays quiet. She needs this time to come to a decision and there is nothing Carmilla can do to speed up the process.

“Okay give me your camera and passport. Be back here by five or I’ll alert the police.” “I’ll be back by five. I promise.” She hands over the camera and passport before she hurries out of the room. Best to get far away before she changes her mind.

 

It took her some time to find a restaurant that suits her needs for tonight, but eventually she managed to find a small and cosy place with a couple of private dining rooms. Exactly what she needs for tonight. She arrives back at the hotel with no more than five minutes to spear.

\---

All the while she was walking in Dunedin she felt uncomfortable. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking Carmilla might not return. Eventually she went back to the hotel early to wait for Carmilla. The closer to five it gets the more nervous she gets. Carmilla arrives with minutes to spare, but at least she came back in time.

“We have to leave in half an hour. Can you be ready by then?” “Sure.”

She takes Laura to a small restaurant at the other side of Dunedin. They get led into a private room. If the two of them weren’t supposed to have a serious conversation Laura would think this was a beautiful date.

Dinner starts off weird. The both of them are pretty tense. She is because finally Carmilla is going to be open with her and Carmilla is probably tense because of what she is going to tell Laura. As much as she dies to start asking questions she knows she needs to wait until Carm is ready. If there’s one thing she learned in the last few weeks, it’s that Carmilla doesn’t react well if she’s being pushed. So she sits and waits in silence. The silence last until dessert arrives.

“So… I brought you here to explain my actions. This is very hard for me and it would help me if you would not interrupt me. It is already very hard to do this. Okay?” Laura hardly recognizes Carmilla’s voice it so small and nervous. Of course she understands and agrees.

“I won’t ask or interrupt anything until you’re finished. I promise.” “Here we go. For you to understand why I ran I need to go back to my childhood. I grew up with just my dad. Until I was thirteen I knew nothing about my mom. Whenever I asked my dad about her he would either change the subject or say you’re better off not knowing her. After a while I stopped asking questions. My dad was amazing and although I wondered who my mother was I never missed her. I had a really happy childhood. My dad made sure I had everything I needed and he cleared his schedule as much as he could to spend time with me. He was really supportive and when I told him I wanted to become a photographer after I got a disposable camera for one of our holidays he bought me my first camera and send me to photography class. I grew up with a very loving and supportive dad, but with the photography the supportiveness took on a whole new level. I think he saw my talent and love, he actually made me promise that I would always keep fighting to become a photographer, no matter what. It was the only promise he ever asked me to make.” She takes a deep breath and a sip of her water before continuing.

“When I was thirteen things my life fell apart. My dad got hit by a drunk driver and died. I was devastated when the police came to my school to tell me. They took me home to get pack some stuff before  taking me to family. This surprised me, it had always been my father and me. As far as I knew I didn’t have any family. The  police took me across the country to a mansion, there were my mother and little brother. I was happy, I lost my dad that day but I gained a mother and brother. That happiness didn’t even last a week. Maman always was disappointed in me because of how much like my father I was. My brother Will wasn’t used to sharing maman’s attention and acted out. Maman would always blame me. It started with getting angry at me and sending me to bed without dinner. As time passed it got worse though. she took away my toys, books and eventually my camera. I tried to be the daughter she expected me, I really tried so hard.” By now the tears are streaming down Carmilla’s cheeks and Laura’s heart is breaking. She gives her a tissue and refills her glass with water.

“By the time my fourteenth birthday rolled around I believed I was worth nothing and I stopped trying. Things got worst. Since I didn’t have any stuff left she could take from me she started hitting me, she always made sure not to leave marks in any visible places, and locking me up. First in my room but later in a cupboard in the kitchen. I would be in there for hours. That is where my claustrophobia developed. I managed to survive the next four years. The only thing that kept me holding on was knowledge that I would get access to my trust fund on my eighteenth birthday. With that money I could escape Maman and Will and then I could start working to keep my promise to my dad to become a photographer. There was a little while when I was dating Ell that I felt better, but you already know how that ended.” The tears have dried and now Carmilla has a faraway look in her eyes.

“I survived and moved back to my childhood home the day I turned eighteen. For a few years my live was better, but I wasn’t anywhere near back to my old self. All the things Maman and Will told me in the five years with them stuck with me. In my time with them I started to believe some of the things they said. I was still struggling with everything that happened to me when maman showed up one day telling me she was done watching me throw my life away. After that she or Will would always be nearby. She did allow me to work as a photographer, but that’s the only good thing. Every date or love interest I’ve had since than was sabotaged by them. After a while of the two of them sabotaging any relationship I had, both romantic and professional, I stopped trying. I became a bit of a hermit the only people I really interact with were Will and Maman. One of them always travels with me. Probably because they don’t want me to run. While in truth I haven’t wanted to run from them for a long while. That is until I met you.” Now it is Carmilla who gives Laura a tissue. She hadn’t even realized she is crying.

“Over the years I did some research and I found out that my dad left Maman when I was two years old. Maman had been verbally and sometimes physically aggressive with my dad, but he was afraid what would happen to me if he left. When I was two he caught my mum hitting me with a pillow because I was crying. After this he made arrangements and left with me. He moved across the country changed our last names and set up a trust fund. He went above and beyond to make sure I was safe. Just like you did that night in Auckland when I got assaulted. You gave me hope that I could be loved, that I deserved to be cared about. You gave me the strength to run away from Will. Despite how difficult I made things for you, you still stayed. And slowly you made my life a happier place. Unfortunately Will had tracked us down. Remember that phone call from W.L. a couple of days ago? The one that made me withdraw? That was from Will. He informed me that playtime was over and that if I didn’t want something like what happened to my dad happen to you I should leave you behind and come back home. That’s what I planned to do the night before Steward’s Island. My plan was to leave in the middle of the night, but because of our late arrival we didn’t have time to get my money. When you started pushing the next day I ran. I was almost in Queenstown, Will told me to meet him there, when I realized my home was no longer with Will and Maman. My home is where my happiness is and my happiness is where you are. So I turned around, ditched my phone to make sure Will couldn’t track it and came back. I waited to tell you my sad story until we were here to make sure Will isn’t here to hurt you. Anyway, this is it. All of my petty history. I completely understand if my luggage is too heavy for you, but if I want us to have a chance to become more than make out buddies, and I do want us to be more than that, I owe you the truth. I know I don’t deserve you and I will respect whatever you decide should happen next.” Carmilla looks at her and she can tell Carmilla is scared. Scared that this time she will run. She wants to tell her everything is going to be okay, she wants to promise her Will and Maman will never touch her again, she wants to tell her she loves her. Unfortunately she is sobbing and unable to form any words, but she does want her to know she won’t leave. She gets up, walk over to Carmilla and gives her a long hug. A hug she hopes tells her everything.

After the hug Carmilla paid and the two of them went back to the hotel. they didn’t talk, because the both of them were exhausted. There are still a few questions to be answered, but she’s sure the two of them will see each other again after today. Her questions can wait and honestly it’s more clarification than anything else. The drive to Christchurch airport was very silent, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. Now the two of them are standing here in the airport. They’re at the point where they have to go in different directions but she finds you can’t leave Carmilla behind. So they stand here in silence while she gather the courage to ask her the question she’s been wanting to ask her since yesterday. Suddenly Carmilla starts talking.

“I love you.” That gives Laura all the courage she needs.

“I love you too. Come with me to Canada?” “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're happy with the ending :D
> 
> So while writing and realising this would be the last chapter I got a little sad to be ending this already. Therefor I've decided to write an epilogue. I feel there are enough minor questions still to be answered. I don't know however when I have the time to write it, so it might be a while before the epilogue will be posted.


	18. Five years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me long enough, but finally I present to you the epilogue to this story.  
> I've been working on editing this story in the past week. There haven't been any major chenging in plot or anything, it's mostly typos and a style change.
> 
> Anyway enjoy!

## Five years later

Laura has tears streaming down her face and can’t do anything but chant yes over and over in a soft voice while looking at Carmilla in awe.

Laura is currently sitting in the same private dining room as she was 5 years. But instead of listening to Carmilla telling her somber story across the table she is looking at Carmilla kneeling next to her holding a diamond ring.

\---

Five years ago after leaving for Canada together with Laura things where rough for a while. Carmilla had deal with starting up a new life in a new country. With being robbed in Auckland and wanting to hide from Will and maman this was not an easy task, but with the help of Laura’s friends and father she managed.

She not only managed to start over but she also managed to sever ties with her mother and brother. It turns out Laura’s friends Lafontaine and JP know quite a bit about computer and they found mountains of evidence, not only of what was done to Carmilla but they also found that Carmilla’s mother was responsible for the dead of Carmilla’s dad. This led her mother be sentenced to life in prison.

However with Will still loose Carmilla was not fully relaxed, until last year, when Carmilla received word from Austria that Will died in a car crash. Even though a lot of her new friends, and Laura and her dad though this got Will of easy Carmilla was just happy to know her brother just as her mother could no longer hurt her or the people she loved.

Carmilla celebrated by buying an engagement ring, asking Laura’s father for permission to marry her and book a vacation to the land the two of them met.

Today on their last evening together exactly one year after she poured her heart out she is proposing right in the spot their relationship truly begun, at least in Carmilla’s eyes.

And she could not be happier then she was right now with Laura telling her yes, she’ll marry Carmilla.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr for question feedback or whatever (springintveld010)


End file.
